god i hate my fucking life. it just seems that where i am in life right now has stripped me of every goal and every aspiration i have ever had. i'm on the brink of a melt down and its really killing me because there isnt a damn thing i can do about it. why can't life ever head in a good direction. i suffer for others but get nothing back in return. i'm a lucky convenience for a few. i have been cast aside or seperated from everything that has ever mattered to me and its hard to take things with a grain of salt and a view of an upside. truth is, there is no upside to where i am. theres no fun, no love, no deep friendship. there is just me and my lonely ass sqwandering around trying to eventually get my shit straight. i need my shit straight now. i need all those lost aspirations and goal to be pheasable. i want to look foreward to things again. i guess i just wait around now until i hit that last block thats pushed aside that makes all the walls and towers around myself fall and crumble to dust. i am free no more yet i fight for freedom. aint that a bitch.
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