I'm talking to my partner at work today about my frustration with work and the crappy feelings i get the night before I go to work. I feel like i'm not doing anyone any good anymore. I'm not making the difference I want to. He said I just need that good serious call so I can feel like i helped. Next call we got was a old guy that was dying on his floor. He took two last guppie breaths and had some facial twitching after his pulse stopped. I was so focused on getting things going to get this guy breathing and getting ready for compressions that i didn't hear the other medics mention the DNR (Do Not Resuscitate). I guess it took them 4-5 times of saying "Hey no more ventilations, we have his DNR here. Relax". before i stopped. I didn't hear them. Glad someone else was there cause I don't think I would have asked about the DNR. I just wanted to get things going and get to the hospital. Not the call I needed this shift. At least we did what the guy wanted.
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I make people grow and grow so that in the end, they end up calling you But it's their choice, i just don't like being a factor in it. Watching them grow and grow. BLeh
Buck up, up chuck