omaru

Should I stay or should I go, if I go there will be trouble, if I stay there will be double.

So the song goes, so my head goes! a guy can literally go crazy thinking about these things.
Gah!

I've got exactly one week to make up my mind, and my tickets already paid for, I've blown my friend off (not like that you pervs). and pretty much told him I wouldn't be around for our regular weekend dvd marathons... he even took the liberty to print me how to get from Euston station to the underground to catch the train... so I'm expected to go from his perspective, and even my mom and other people who would scold me for spending money on something I'm backing out of.

Time to write up a few pros and cons I guess
Pros:
1) I'd get to meet some of the people I like from chat.
2) I'd get to attend the SGUK meet, though I feel slightly like a hypocrite as I'm not a member of the group.
3) I'd get to claim self independence in travelling somewhere on my own
4) It'd make a for a slightly different weekend.

Cons:
1) High likelihood of getting lost or mugged whilst travelling along
2) what if I don't like people, or just as expectable if not more likely, they not like me, and if that's the case I'd feel uncomfortable having to share a room with them.
3) I'm all pumped to go, and then when I get there I develop my usual sense of self worthlessness and spend the duration mulling in self insecurity, especially when witnessing everyone else getting on so well and leading to con '2)'

So I have more pros than cons,. but the cons are kinda deep seated and always on my mind, especially that last one, it sucks being ugly and it. You can only sugarcoat the facts so many times before you stop believing your own lies.

I need a few more days to think this through.