oktavia

Rawrrr. It's been forever since I posted here. I honestly haven't been around much, I mostly just come by to check on FearTheReapers' articles. xB

Things have been crazy lately. I have a new job at Lowes. It's taking up all of my free time and I rarely have time to take pictures or do anything creative. On the other hand, the money is good to have. I've been able to help with bills and get new clothes and it's a nice feeling.

I'm really not sure if I'll be doing any more modeling here anymore. I've started to becoming a bit .. dysphoric with my body image, even more so than usual. I've come out as transgendered to my fiance and brother, and I generally float between male and female appearances depending on my mood. But I don't know if I feel comfortable taking pictures of my nude body and having other people see them, unless I know them or something. xD I just feel much more comfortable in the zone of 'guy-ishness' .. and people seeing "the girls" kind of ruins that.

My hair is blue.

Or it was. Work is a fuckface. Actually, the customers at my job are fuckfaces. One or two people complained to management and they asked me to "change it back". Right, what the fuck ever. I can't just magically bleach it back or my hair will fall out. So I just dyed it darker. Hopefully they'll stop bitching now. It's black with streaks of blue now. I'm mad at myself for not making sure that it was okay at work. D:

Idk.

I've been on accutane for about a month now? It seems to be getting better .. it's hard to say for sure if it will last though, so I'm going to keep taking it and hopefully I'll be more or less acne-free for a while. Hope to the Gods. I still enjoy taking pictures, but when my skin looks like crap it's just depressing.

Idk, I'm kind of unhappy at my job right now because of the whole hair issue. People can be such small-minded cunts really. I guess I forgot that most people are scared by anything that doesn't fit into their social norms.

I finally got a new graphics card, so I've been playing second life lately.lololol.