ohiopunkgurl

he haunts me, every move i make.
the feeling of being so close,
so close i can feel him near.
yet so far,
so far i burns through my soul.
knowing that he is just over the horizon and all i have to do is reach out.
all i have to do i want him, bad enough.
but will he love me tomorrow?
every gust...
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so it seems the credit card company hasn't gotten my payment just what i need right now...

so along those lines i have to wait for them to get it and pay for SG... i'm not evn sure how long it will take so, I wanted to let everyone know i'm not going away forever, but at least until Capital One gets the payment...which i...
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Suck it up silly girl
Current mood: amused

Silly little girl with your high hopes.
When push comes to shove,
You give it all away so carelessly.
With a smile on your face you skip through life,
Never willing to see the bad.
When will you see that not everyone is what you want them to be?
Suck it up silly girl.
Now you go...
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I wonder....
Current mood: cold

Why I find great enjoyment in watching people fall on the icy sidewalks?

Random thoughts,
Bizzare feelings,
Nothing connects.
All just there,
Floating around in my brain.
Regrets for the things I haven't done.
Regrets for some of the things I have.
Tired,
But not willing sleep.
Smiling,
For no reason.
Laughing,
though no jokes have been said.
Just here,
I guess here is where I'm ment to be.

2/26/2005

~Belle

Vacation is all I ever wanted
Current mood: cranky

Alarm goes off at 6am. Nevertheless, not for me, Im already awake. Time to get a shower. Getting dressed is always a hassle, never an easy task. I am forever pushed away while trying to shave. Packing lunches and giving meds on time, but never for me. Tying shoes, getting on buses. These arent my kids,...
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last night i was told that i was too complicated for my own good.. i don't think i am, but they might be right

worn out... oddly light-hearted....and for the first time in a long time truely happy... the amazing part is that no one did this for me, i did it myself!!

God I've missed acting!!!
Current mood: groggy

~ This is a accurate description of my festivities from the after party of the opening of my new show!




Here at the party
everone's happy
Everyone's high
Get struck by lightning
Who here would feel it?
Who here could heal it?
Who here would try?
Chemical-party-lover down
It's not the walls
It's not this town
You're just...
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~This is why i push people away, when they get close

Early August day
Current mood: anxious

Yelling no in the darkness.
A mass on top of me.
Crying and dying inside.
Never again will I be so vulnerable.
The weight on my body being slowly lifted.
Day by day, the feeling of pressure is moved slightly.
Not much over the years has happened,
But...
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