ohash

I am so tired that I'm pretty much delirious. I tried studying for my Monday business finance final, but realized I wasn't retaining a damn thing.

I was talking to a friend last night. Kind of debating about the merit of loving someone who may not love you back. I tend to love pretty easily...and it's hard for me not to. There are many, many people in my life that I love...some more than others, and all a little differently, but I still think it can be considered love. Is it pointless to love someone who doesn't love you back? Is love finite? Something that shouldnt be "wasted" because you only have so much to go around? I just can't believe that's true. I don't want it to be true.

We were talking about how to hate too. I don't know how. I have tried to hate people and have failed miserably because it hurts me so much to even try. I cry a lot whenever I'm feeling bad about someone. I feel guilty for it. Can you MAKE yourself hate someone? Is that something that can be learned? I mean, obviously it can...I believe that things like racism are taught. I don't know...this is too deep for as exhausted as I am.

I'm going to try to finish my Christmas shopping this weekend. I'm done with the several friends I'm buying for and Jon. I need to finish mom and dad and do the "Basket O' Goodies" that I do for Jon's family each year. I also have a TON of studying to do. I have 2 finals on Monday. I need an emergency math tutor.