Technically, my work-week isn't over yet...I still have to work registration for this stupid conference from 7:30-9:30am tomorrow...but I figured it was time to highlight the misery of my past 3 days...
Tuesday:
Spent 8 hours straight trying to organize 300 nametags in some manner that made sense...there were 8 categories of registration, 3 color, dots that had to go on certain ones, flags for those that hadn't paid. I could barely see when I left work.
Wednesday:
Finish the stupid name tags. Work on a billion other tiny details. Oh wait! Our entire server goes down...I am chewing out our tech, even though he is trying as hard as he can, but I cannot access any of the shit I need and I'm getting pissed. Around 3pm, my registration coordinator and I are getting ready to go, I bend down to pick up the printer and I split my pants...I shit you not. Split them right down the middle seam. Why? Seriously...why? I have lost weight...not gained it you stupid pants! And could I have worn inconspicuous black underwear that day? Nope...it was hot pink. We go to registraton and it is the most unorganized clusterfuck I have EVER been a part of. We had a million people walking in saying they didn't have to pay, saying they registered, ect, ect. Basically every problem possible for a conference planner popped up. Luckily my registration coordinator is resourceful. Oh - and in the 90 degree building I had to wear my suit jacket...because of course I had split my pants. We get done around 7pm (yep - that makes a 12 hour day for me), and I go home and eat ice cream.
Thursday:
Left my car windows down Wed. night. It POURED. Even though I put a towel down, my ass is soaked by the time I get to work. Different location...we get there at 6:45am. The client is late with some of our supplies, and we have people lining up. This is the day when all of the Non-English speaking participants show up. Did my client think to maybe get a translator? Nope. So I spend my day attempting to point at everything and create understanding. Oh - and somehow all of these Somalians have ONLY $100 bills...so we run out of petty cash...I am begging the accountant for that building to break five $100 bills. Luckily, he was my old boss and happened to love me, so he did it without too much complaint. By the time we're done, it's almost 11am, and my car has turned into a sauna because it's super hot, and the interior is wet, so I now have a steam-room on wheels. We head back to the office and create a new game plan. No way can we keep this up.
Friday:
Get to the original location at 7am. Registration is supposed to start at 8am. Doors are locked. No one is sight. My registration coordinator and I sit down on a bench, and are promptly attacked by 3 ducks. (I shit you not!). There is a male mallard, a female mallard, and a duck that I could not identify. They were just sitting there in the grass napping as we walked up...they suddenly stood up started flapping and running at us. I wa raised around birds...but my reg coordinator is TERRIFIED of them. So, now I am chasing 3 ducks away, shooing them towards Mirror Lake, in stilletto heels, while Jenny is laughing hysterically. Finally, our client shows up with a key at 7:30, and it is more clusterfucked chaos. Two of the vendors actually put NAILS in the walls of this building to hang up their signs...then they pretended not to speak English when one of volunteers went to yell at them. So, I am sure my client will get charged for that. None of their volunteers showed up, and half their speakers were missing. They took away the volunteers assigned to us, so it was me, Jenny, and about 50 impatient Somalians. We are there until 9:30am. I get back to my office and there is a HUGE chocolate chip cookie on my desk. My secretary leans her head in my door and goes "I made that for you...I figured you needed it...cause god knows if you aren't happy, I'm not gonna be happy." I love my secretary. Seriously...she can adopt me. She bakes the best stuff EVER. So, my reg. coordinator and I sit down to discuss AGAIN how we can possibly make this better. In the end, we decide that we are showing up tomorrow, doing what we've done the past 3 days, and being amused by it. It's out of our hands. Then my supervisor calls and I told her about ALL of it. She agrees that there is nothing we can do, it's not at all my fault or Jenny's fault, so we go tomorrow, smile, and say "forget it" when it's over.
This is what happens when clients who have no conference planning experience attempt to handle stuff. We tried to get her to sign a contract for conference management, but she was cheap (I say cheap because she had state funding and private donors...the money was there), and would only sign for registration services, so everything got fucked up. Yes, I am saying I could have done it better. Every detail was done last minute, there were some very important things that were completely over-looked, and since I wasn't doing any of the management, I didn't even have any idea this stuff was going on until we were tossed into the middle of the shit pile.
As the day is pressing on, I am really not feeling good. My stomach is tightening up and my breathing is shallow and I feel hot...when it suddenly hits me, I am about to launch full-tilt into a panic attack. I haven't had one since my Grandpa's funeral in Feb. and that had been feeling pretty damn good to me. I've been having issues since I was a freshman in high school...I was having them constantly, where I couldn't get a breath, would shake, would literally run out of buildings because I couldn't identify my fear. I remember one time my dad and I were at the Smithsonian...and I suddenly flipped. We used to think it was large groups of close-bound people that trigger my panic...but as time has passed and I've had a chance to analyze them, I think I have to be exhausted, stressed, surrounded by people, AND unable to see an exit. Where we were for registration, was the back corner of a hallway and there was no door to be seen...I think I finally just had it. As I've gotten older, they subsided, so I ignored them and dealt with them as they came. Now, I'm down to a couple a year...but when they hit, I realize how fucking weak I really am, and it makes me feel like crap. So, I bailed. I just left the office and drove home at about 80MPH, ran in the house, shut the door, and laid down until my heart had stopped racing and I had stopped sweating. So, yipee. I am apparently still fucked in the head. Yay.
I have never before looked forward to pain, but I am THRILLED to be getting my wisdom teeth out next Thursday...because it means I have a 5-day vacation. Granted, the BF is leaving me here all alone to take his daughter to the lakehouse...which is annoying (hello?! take her Labor Day weekend...girlfriend in pain!!), but I'll go spend time with a friend or something. If I sit here alone, I will just whine in the silence and feel sorry for myself.
Thanks to PunkNiteMike for letting me vent to him online after registration today. When he asked me how I was doing the first thing out of my mouth was, "I really need some violent sex right now. I need someone in my office right now who will tolerate biting and scratching and smacking...that'd really make me feel better." Sorry if I was scary, buddy. Haha. Didn't mean to be.
Tomorrow, I am going out with Trickynicki and I am planning on drinking. I have earned it.
On a side note - I got a phone call tonight from my friend Sam, who if you read a few posts ago, is the friend I "accidentally" slept with (I don't really think you can do that by accident) back in Feb. and he hasn't talked to me since. He is moving home from Omaha on Sept. 17th. From now on, we will behave ourselves, but I am SO goddamn excited to have him home. He is one of my best friends on the planet, and I have missed him like crazy for the past 2 years. BF is not quite as thrilled he's moving home...but we'll work through that.
Tuesday:
Spent 8 hours straight trying to organize 300 nametags in some manner that made sense...there were 8 categories of registration, 3 color, dots that had to go on certain ones, flags for those that hadn't paid. I could barely see when I left work.
Wednesday:
Finish the stupid name tags. Work on a billion other tiny details. Oh wait! Our entire server goes down...I am chewing out our tech, even though he is trying as hard as he can, but I cannot access any of the shit I need and I'm getting pissed. Around 3pm, my registration coordinator and I are getting ready to go, I bend down to pick up the printer and I split my pants...I shit you not. Split them right down the middle seam. Why? Seriously...why? I have lost weight...not gained it you stupid pants! And could I have worn inconspicuous black underwear that day? Nope...it was hot pink. We go to registraton and it is the most unorganized clusterfuck I have EVER been a part of. We had a million people walking in saying they didn't have to pay, saying they registered, ect, ect. Basically every problem possible for a conference planner popped up. Luckily my registration coordinator is resourceful. Oh - and in the 90 degree building I had to wear my suit jacket...because of course I had split my pants. We get done around 7pm (yep - that makes a 12 hour day for me), and I go home and eat ice cream.
Thursday:
Left my car windows down Wed. night. It POURED. Even though I put a towel down, my ass is soaked by the time I get to work. Different location...we get there at 6:45am. The client is late with some of our supplies, and we have people lining up. This is the day when all of the Non-English speaking participants show up. Did my client think to maybe get a translator? Nope. So I spend my day attempting to point at everything and create understanding. Oh - and somehow all of these Somalians have ONLY $100 bills...so we run out of petty cash...I am begging the accountant for that building to break five $100 bills. Luckily, he was my old boss and happened to love me, so he did it without too much complaint. By the time we're done, it's almost 11am, and my car has turned into a sauna because it's super hot, and the interior is wet, so I now have a steam-room on wheels. We head back to the office and create a new game plan. No way can we keep this up.
Friday:
Get to the original location at 7am. Registration is supposed to start at 8am. Doors are locked. No one is sight. My registration coordinator and I sit down on a bench, and are promptly attacked by 3 ducks. (I shit you not!). There is a male mallard, a female mallard, and a duck that I could not identify. They were just sitting there in the grass napping as we walked up...they suddenly stood up started flapping and running at us. I wa raised around birds...but my reg coordinator is TERRIFIED of them. So, now I am chasing 3 ducks away, shooing them towards Mirror Lake, in stilletto heels, while Jenny is laughing hysterically. Finally, our client shows up with a key at 7:30, and it is more clusterfucked chaos. Two of the vendors actually put NAILS in the walls of this building to hang up their signs...then they pretended not to speak English when one of volunteers went to yell at them. So, I am sure my client will get charged for that. None of their volunteers showed up, and half their speakers were missing. They took away the volunteers assigned to us, so it was me, Jenny, and about 50 impatient Somalians. We are there until 9:30am. I get back to my office and there is a HUGE chocolate chip cookie on my desk. My secretary leans her head in my door and goes "I made that for you...I figured you needed it...cause god knows if you aren't happy, I'm not gonna be happy." I love my secretary. Seriously...she can adopt me. She bakes the best stuff EVER. So, my reg. coordinator and I sit down to discuss AGAIN how we can possibly make this better. In the end, we decide that we are showing up tomorrow, doing what we've done the past 3 days, and being amused by it. It's out of our hands. Then my supervisor calls and I told her about ALL of it. She agrees that there is nothing we can do, it's not at all my fault or Jenny's fault, so we go tomorrow, smile, and say "forget it" when it's over.
This is what happens when clients who have no conference planning experience attempt to handle stuff. We tried to get her to sign a contract for conference management, but she was cheap (I say cheap because she had state funding and private donors...the money was there), and would only sign for registration services, so everything got fucked up. Yes, I am saying I could have done it better. Every detail was done last minute, there were some very important things that were completely over-looked, and since I wasn't doing any of the management, I didn't even have any idea this stuff was going on until we were tossed into the middle of the shit pile.
As the day is pressing on, I am really not feeling good. My stomach is tightening up and my breathing is shallow and I feel hot...when it suddenly hits me, I am about to launch full-tilt into a panic attack. I haven't had one since my Grandpa's funeral in Feb. and that had been feeling pretty damn good to me. I've been having issues since I was a freshman in high school...I was having them constantly, where I couldn't get a breath, would shake, would literally run out of buildings because I couldn't identify my fear. I remember one time my dad and I were at the Smithsonian...and I suddenly flipped. We used to think it was large groups of close-bound people that trigger my panic...but as time has passed and I've had a chance to analyze them, I think I have to be exhausted, stressed, surrounded by people, AND unable to see an exit. Where we were for registration, was the back corner of a hallway and there was no door to be seen...I think I finally just had it. As I've gotten older, they subsided, so I ignored them and dealt with them as they came. Now, I'm down to a couple a year...but when they hit, I realize how fucking weak I really am, and it makes me feel like crap. So, I bailed. I just left the office and drove home at about 80MPH, ran in the house, shut the door, and laid down until my heart had stopped racing and I had stopped sweating. So, yipee. I am apparently still fucked in the head. Yay.
I have never before looked forward to pain, but I am THRILLED to be getting my wisdom teeth out next Thursday...because it means I have a 5-day vacation. Granted, the BF is leaving me here all alone to take his daughter to the lakehouse...which is annoying (hello?! take her Labor Day weekend...girlfriend in pain!!), but I'll go spend time with a friend or something. If I sit here alone, I will just whine in the silence and feel sorry for myself.
Thanks to PunkNiteMike for letting me vent to him online after registration today. When he asked me how I was doing the first thing out of my mouth was, "I really need some violent sex right now. I need someone in my office right now who will tolerate biting and scratching and smacking...that'd really make me feel better." Sorry if I was scary, buddy. Haha. Didn't mean to be.
Tomorrow, I am going out with Trickynicki and I am planning on drinking. I have earned it.
On a side note - I got a phone call tonight from my friend Sam, who if you read a few posts ago, is the friend I "accidentally" slept with (I don't really think you can do that by accident) back in Feb. and he hasn't talked to me since. He is moving home from Omaha on Sept. 17th. From now on, we will behave ourselves, but I am SO goddamn excited to have him home. He is one of my best friends on the planet, and I have missed him like crazy for the past 2 years. BF is not quite as thrilled he's moving home...but we'll work through that.
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