SUNDAY
Itinerary: got into a depressed stupor on the couch watching nickelodeon when I should've been doing uni work.
Diet: chicken noodle soup with 2 minute noodles in it
Thought of the day: I wish I had more friends
MONDAY
Itinerary: work. got stared at by horrible scary sock guy. was insulted yet again by horrible old hairdresser who thinks shes 20 again. yes I am eating chocolate again and no I wont get fat you stupid cow.
Diet: mushroom soup. apple. rice crackers. liquorice.
Thought of the day: Why won't nice good-looking boys stare at me?
TUESDAY
Itinerary: woke up in a better mood cos I was supposed to be hanging out with other Jim today. Uni. sorted out a bullshit parking ticket. talked to Helena again, my only uni friend. Got home. messaged other Jim only to get a reply saying he didnt feel well and we'll hang another time. So me being a whiney bitch put my foot in it and said well if you don't wanna hang out at all then just say so. or something to that effect. and of course got no reply to that msg.
Actually perhaps this needs a back story. So the deal is that like 3 years ago, me and this guy Jim were together for a short time, but it was pretty fucking awesome. then we randomly drifted apart. didn't speak for 6 months or so. Met up again, randomly fall in love with eachother for a month. drift apart yet again. went out with another guy for a bit, got dumped, ran back to Jim who was waiting with open arms. for 24 hours. didn't speak yet again for forever. dated another dude til just very recently. run into Jim out one night. end up at his house again. don't here from him til I took initiative and messaged him last week to see what he was up to. organised time to hang out, which was this tuesday (today) and i get rejected. probably for a very legitimate reason but of course i ruined my chances by making myself sound like a needy knobhead.
Diet: nothing except a choc milk because im so pissed off and stressed out about my own ridiculousness.
Thought of the day: I need to find someone else to obsess over. someone more reliable.
p.s. these depressed stupor states are getting too regular to be healthy. I spend the majority of my time going to uni, coming home, talking to my cats, watching my little sister go out most nights with all her fucking friends, going to bed at 8, reading books, watching family guy, drinking alone at home on friday and saturday nights.
I need to meet new people. Refresh myself. My brain is slowly turning to mush from seeing the same people, doing the same things.
I feel like the inside of me is changing, wanting to spread out and explore different groups of people, but the outside of me doesn't have the balls to physically go out all by myself and just randomly talk to whoever.
GARRHH. FUCK.
Itinerary: got into a depressed stupor on the couch watching nickelodeon when I should've been doing uni work.
Diet: chicken noodle soup with 2 minute noodles in it
Thought of the day: I wish I had more friends
MONDAY
Itinerary: work. got stared at by horrible scary sock guy. was insulted yet again by horrible old hairdresser who thinks shes 20 again. yes I am eating chocolate again and no I wont get fat you stupid cow.
Diet: mushroom soup. apple. rice crackers. liquorice.
Thought of the day: Why won't nice good-looking boys stare at me?
TUESDAY
Itinerary: woke up in a better mood cos I was supposed to be hanging out with other Jim today. Uni. sorted out a bullshit parking ticket. talked to Helena again, my only uni friend. Got home. messaged other Jim only to get a reply saying he didnt feel well and we'll hang another time. So me being a whiney bitch put my foot in it and said well if you don't wanna hang out at all then just say so. or something to that effect. and of course got no reply to that msg.
Actually perhaps this needs a back story. So the deal is that like 3 years ago, me and this guy Jim were together for a short time, but it was pretty fucking awesome. then we randomly drifted apart. didn't speak for 6 months or so. Met up again, randomly fall in love with eachother for a month. drift apart yet again. went out with another guy for a bit, got dumped, ran back to Jim who was waiting with open arms. for 24 hours. didn't speak yet again for forever. dated another dude til just very recently. run into Jim out one night. end up at his house again. don't here from him til I took initiative and messaged him last week to see what he was up to. organised time to hang out, which was this tuesday (today) and i get rejected. probably for a very legitimate reason but of course i ruined my chances by making myself sound like a needy knobhead.
Diet: nothing except a choc milk because im so pissed off and stressed out about my own ridiculousness.
Thought of the day: I need to find someone else to obsess over. someone more reliable.
p.s. these depressed stupor states are getting too regular to be healthy. I spend the majority of my time going to uni, coming home, talking to my cats, watching my little sister go out most nights with all her fucking friends, going to bed at 8, reading books, watching family guy, drinking alone at home on friday and saturday nights.
I need to meet new people. Refresh myself. My brain is slowly turning to mush from seeing the same people, doing the same things.
I feel like the inside of me is changing, wanting to spread out and explore different groups of people, but the outside of me doesn't have the balls to physically go out all by myself and just randomly talk to whoever.
GARRHH. FUCK.
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I miss payTV...