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I had myself a nice little panic attack the other night.

Poor Matthew sat up with me for hours while I settled back down.

My number one fear is shared by thousands of other people on this little green planet - I am shit scared of death, the great unknown of what (if anything) happens after. If I let that little fear creep into my thoughts for more then just a brief second I freak the hell out. It's one of the more important notes of humanity - our ability to block things out and live along on pure hope and ignorance. If when we watched the news at night we really thought about what those 1000 people dead in a disaster might really mean, we'd probably all be nutts. So, for a few hours the other night my mind raced off on it's own and explored those possibilities - and unfortunately when you start on this rollercoaster ride you kinda just have to ride it out as there is no way of just getting off. At about 5am I was finally so tired that my mind couldn't race anymore and fell asleep. If not for Matthew it could have been a whole lot scarier.

What I have myself is an irrational manifestation of a rational fear, and I'd like for it to go away.

On the ligher side, we went to Madame Tussauds wax museum the other day!

I think my favourite out of everyone we met was this little guy...



I hope everyone is well. Lots of love.