Ah ha! Bipolar is back! Texted me on Saturday afternoon asking what she did (or didn't) do that drove me away. Followed up by "miss your kiss." So terribly sweet of her. Makes me want to drive a nail into my hand.
I do like it when a girl chases after me. It's a wonderful boost to the ego. This, however, is entirely different. My kingdom for a girl not fucking crazy. When a girl busts out with the lithium that's the green light to run, as fast as you can, in the other direction.
I feel like answering her question. Even discounting the crazy, I just wasn't feeling it with her. I can have a relationship where I know I'll never love the person. That's not a problem. But there were things about us that just didn't click. Politics was a big one. I'm a blog junkie. I don't watch the network news and keep cable news as far away as possible. I rarely even read a newspaper, online or dead tree version. So all my news gets filtered through blogs. Tech blogs, culture blogs, blogs run by specific writers or artists. And especially political blogs.
I stay away from the more partisan blogs. Same reason I stay away from cable news. Nothing useful to gain. No, I read the more cool-headed blogs. They can have a particular bent to them but more often than not the blogs I read eschew party identification. So what I get is a series of more considered opinions that can run left to right without being merely partisan rhetoric. And that's how my politics run too.
Bipolar, on the other hand, ardently hates Obama (I voted for him), questions evolution and isn't all that open minded. That's a kill-joy for me because I hate having to explain how not only is she wrong but where and why. It's not that I need her to think like me. I actually enjoy a good debate on politics. Shows me where I'm wrong and need to adjust my opinion. But I'm not here to deprogram her.
So we don't click. The sex was fun, but we don't click. Her being bipolar only gives me more incentive to stay away. I know she's trying to play me. Maybe she's used to guys who aren't as aware as I am (which is actually pretty sad since I'm not all that aware). That she is trying to play me, pull on my emotions, guilt trip me, only adds to the reasons why I pushed her away.
Great, given myself another headache.
I do like it when a girl chases after me. It's a wonderful boost to the ego. This, however, is entirely different. My kingdom for a girl not fucking crazy. When a girl busts out with the lithium that's the green light to run, as fast as you can, in the other direction.
I feel like answering her question. Even discounting the crazy, I just wasn't feeling it with her. I can have a relationship where I know I'll never love the person. That's not a problem. But there were things about us that just didn't click. Politics was a big one. I'm a blog junkie. I don't watch the network news and keep cable news as far away as possible. I rarely even read a newspaper, online or dead tree version. So all my news gets filtered through blogs. Tech blogs, culture blogs, blogs run by specific writers or artists. And especially political blogs.
I stay away from the more partisan blogs. Same reason I stay away from cable news. Nothing useful to gain. No, I read the more cool-headed blogs. They can have a particular bent to them but more often than not the blogs I read eschew party identification. So what I get is a series of more considered opinions that can run left to right without being merely partisan rhetoric. And that's how my politics run too.
Bipolar, on the other hand, ardently hates Obama (I voted for him), questions evolution and isn't all that open minded. That's a kill-joy for me because I hate having to explain how not only is she wrong but where and why. It's not that I need her to think like me. I actually enjoy a good debate on politics. Shows me where I'm wrong and need to adjust my opinion. But I'm not here to deprogram her.
So we don't click. The sex was fun, but we don't click. Her being bipolar only gives me more incentive to stay away. I know she's trying to play me. Maybe she's used to guys who aren't as aware as I am (which is actually pretty sad since I'm not all that aware). That she is trying to play me, pull on my emotions, guilt trip me, only adds to the reasons why I pushed her away.
Great, given myself another headache.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
You're right though, she is trying to play you, and she doesn't see the inabilities in herself so she's looking for justification and vindication that it was something she did, and not who she is.
*hugs*