oddityodyssey

In the midst of one of those times where I seriously doubt myself. Hate being prone to self-pity since it's pretty fucking useless. Oh, and completely not charming, not in the slightest. Self-doubt though, that has its uses. I'm beginning to doubt if I've ever loved. A silly thing, I know. I'm having trouble shaking that feeling though. When you have enough women rebuff your love you begin to wonder if what you feel is actually love or something else. I constantly question myself because to delude myself with a false conviction keeps me from experiencing reality as it is. Right now I doubt I have loved. A painful thing that. It usually means I have to go swimming back into my past and re-examine it all under that light. While that does have some positives to it, in this instance I'm looking back on a lot of pain and regret. I have to question it all. Hopefully I'll emerge with something positive, but I really don't know at the moment.