oddityodyssey

I hate being sick. I hate not knowing why I'm sick even more. And when I'm sick I want everyone to leave me alone. I just feel exhausted. It's not the same as being tired. Any physical effort seems to take all that I have. I really hate this. I have things to do, work to finish, customers waiting to yell at me. Being sick...
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You know, maybe if I try talking with people I might become a better person.

...nah...

Start of the six day work week for me. Also the start of extra hours due to the sheer amount of work. Thankfully I have a bench at home almost fully functional. Still, not looking forward to the next month. It's a marathon you run at breakneck speed.

Finally! Two mixes that have been plaguing me for going on three months now are done. I'm happy with them, the timing, sequencing, crossfades, edits and everything else. Just a bit of artwork to put together and I can send them out.
Now, onto the next two mixes I have lined up.

Wait, wasn't self-pity after all. Indigestion. Cancel the black curtains and all-night Cure listening session.

Okay, feeling a round of stupid, fucking ri-goddamn-diculous self-pity coming on. Will try not to say anything for a few days. Yell at me if I do.

Bleh, you'd think by now I would have had this desire beaten, pulped, turned to paste and canned. I mean, I'm a jeweler in the rich part of town with all the ridiculousness that entails. And still I can't help but want to make the women in my life happy. Fuck am I a real sap.

Dear Lord, please send death from above.

Sincerely,
Jordan

Sigh, why do all the great women have boyfriends?

No. No cigarette of victory today. Just the last one in the pack. A cigarette of exhaustion. Sucked on slowly and gently. The smoke filling my lungs is not for releasing tension. It is to put away thoughts, fold up the tables and turn out the lights.

Throw the levers, friends, throw the levers.

A few songs that I'm working into a couple of new mixes. Sadly the Joakim video is the shortened version but at least the version of "Stuck On Repeat" by Little Boots is the full one from the Arecibo EP.

Why do I keep doing this? Why do I feel compelled to help others all the time? I'm no shrink. I can barely keep my own head together. It's not as if my advice is so invaluable that people can't live without it. So why do I continue trying to help other people? There's no reward, no gain, nothing earned. And yet I can't keep...
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