IIt's been a long time! I hope you haven't missed me too much!!
It's taken an absolute age to get the internet sorted in my new place, we had so many problems but I'm finally connected!
I've had a real rollercoaster recently. You all know that I moved into my new place and I've had a few problems with it but I'm getting there. I'm comfortable here so I'm hoping things will be okay.
My depression and anxiety have taken a real dip and I've been really struggling. I kept having panic attacks at work and eventually gave up fighting it. I took three weeks off to settle myself but on going back nobody had missed me and they treated me like a child. It was as if because I'd been off for my mental health I could no longer be trusted with responsibilities. I had gone from being a trainee manager to being treated as if I had just started. Needless to say that didn't help ease me back into work and I ended up going up to the roof and crying. I texted my manager and called the pub phone asking for someone to come up and sit with me and after waiting for half an hour I grabbed my bag and walked out and haven't been back. I handed in my notice.
So now I'm unemployed which poses its own struggles but I'm able to focus on my mental health and getting better. I'm hoping whilst I'm unemployed I can use this opportunity to get help in getting my debts sorted and help starting my own business. I really want to make wedding dresses. I think there's a gap in the market for custom made dresses that aren't extortionate pricing. So we'll see how that goes. However, I found out today that the housing allowance won't cover my rent and now I'm panicking because although my rent is too expensive I don't think my landlady will drop it that much. I'm behind on my rent anyway because of my time off work. I was relying on my deposit coming back but whilst I was disputing the deductions they wanted to make the letting agents just went behind my back and gave the whole lot back to my ex. Who refused to split it with me. So I was down just shy £300 minimum. I was not going to let them deduct that much. Absolutely livid. But my sister is a property manager and has helped me put together a complaint because they've broken the law and if they don't compensate me we'll send the complaint to the ombudsmen and hopefully get my money back. I'm pretty fucking skint at the moment. Which makes me miserable.
Anyway
How about some happy news?
I randomly started talking to a handsome stranger on tumblr and one thing led to another, we exchanged numbers and just fell head over heels for each other. He lives 200 miles away from me which sucks, but I think he's worth it. I've never fallen for someone so fast, usually I fight feelings quite hard, but within about a week of talking it was obvious I was not getting out of this! He's beyond perfect and everything I could ever want. He makes me feel like a princess and is so sweet. He sat on a train for four hours to come down and see me and stayed with me over the weekend. As first dates go, we crossed a lot of boundaries! I have no door to my bathroom which is right next to the the bedroom. And obviously he slept in my bed with me which I wouldn't do on a first date normally! But it was like we'd known each other for ages. It was so comfortable being around him it was unreal. So much could have gone wrong, I mean this is a guy I met through tumblr for crying out loud. We had the perfect weekend walking Skyler on the beach, making pancakes and watching cartoons when I fell asleep in his lap. As soon as he got on the train to go home I burst into tears. But it's since been four weeks since I've seen him, which sucks but I'm coping! I thought long distance would be horrible, especially given the trust issues my ex has given me, but there's something about him that just makes me trust him implicitly. I know we'll see each other as soon as we both can but he had college and work and he also has two children. I'm super nervous about meeting his kids! I've never really thought about dating someone with kids but he means so much to me I never had to think about it. He is such a wonderful father which is so heart warming. Well I think I've chatted on about him enough now!!
Just in case you forgot what I look like, or because you're bored of my personal life, here are some nudes 😘😘
