octagon

So, though it may seem like I have fallen off the face of the planet, I have not. Shit happened this summer and much of my recreation activites stopped. My car got busted up, not broken into, just busted up, at a party and then burning man happened. Burning man actually turned out to be a rather traumatic experience that took some dealing with.

So, yes between now and then, my sex drive has kind of dimished, and my attraction to girls all but disappeared, hence not coming this way quite so often. This has part to do with going through some strange transitions, part to do with losing interest in my significant other, yet being far too dependant on him to really do anything about it, and part to do with the realization that I'm more into boys, at least this is how I interpret the fact that there were many hot girls at the pool hall formal, in fact one I was sitting very close to for an extended period of time, but the only person I found myself mildly attracted to was this guy who I don't even find all that interesting to talk to. Le sigh. I work too hard, i think. Buit I get angry with myself when I don't. I have such high standards for myslef, and I use that as an excuse to get in bad relationships, by saying that I have unrealistic standards in men, so I should lower them so as not to be lonely. But I think this is bullshit. But then I think it isn't. I'm confused. So yes, that is where I have been for the last #$%$# months.