I think I almost miss school too much. I'm supposed to be having fun with my summer, relaxing and whatnot, but I keep working to get through the ever-growing stack of books I really really want to read before the school year starts. I'm never going to get through all of it. I guess it's good that I keep pushing myself to read lots of books even during the summer, so that I'll be more used to it when schools starts. ALthough I read a lot last summer and the work load was still a bit of a shock to my head. I'm averageing a book every two weeks, which is nothing compared to a school time work load. Right now I jsut have this immense thirst to learn everything I possibly can as quickly as i can, so I can continue to learn more and more and one day figure something out. Just have at least a glimpse of an answer at some of the questions in my head. That would make me happy, but I think i have a lot moe studying to do.
I also think I'm fairly neurotic. This is not healthy. I need to draw and paint more, I don't feel this scrambling need to absorb EVERYTHING while i'm painting, but I have a hard time devoting a lot of time to it becasue I'm taking precious time away from my reading. I mean, I'm writing this when I could be reading the second half of Techgnosis! I need to get through that, so I can get through mroe of the Lucifer Princliple. Maybe I'd be more stable if I were reading fiction. I read a couple novels at the beginning of the summer, then I went right back into theoretical texts. I'm such a nerd. I keep feelign like I have to make up for the years I spent in high school being I dumbass to be accepted when i could ahve been reading or drawing more. I suppose it has its good side of pushing me to do more work cause I feel behind other people who know more, but I think I need to take a step back and see how far I've come since my days of proud ignorance.
I think I'm going to try and take classes next summer. Then I won't have this problem. Hopefully, I'll be able to go to England for it. I was looking at a summer program in Sussex today, and it looks so nice.
Ok, that was my rant. I feel better now. Time to go to work.
I also think I'm fairly neurotic. This is not healthy. I need to draw and paint more, I don't feel this scrambling need to absorb EVERYTHING while i'm painting, but I have a hard time devoting a lot of time to it becasue I'm taking precious time away from my reading. I mean, I'm writing this when I could be reading the second half of Techgnosis! I need to get through that, so I can get through mroe of the Lucifer Princliple. Maybe I'd be more stable if I were reading fiction. I read a couple novels at the beginning of the summer, then I went right back into theoretical texts. I'm such a nerd. I keep feelign like I have to make up for the years I spent in high school being I dumbass to be accepted when i could ahve been reading or drawing more. I suppose it has its good side of pushing me to do more work cause I feel behind other people who know more, but I think I need to take a step back and see how far I've come since my days of proud ignorance.
I think I'm going to try and take classes next summer. Then I won't have this problem. Hopefully, I'll be able to go to England for it. I was looking at a summer program in Sussex today, and it looks so nice.
Ok, that was my rant. I feel better now. Time to go to work.
