occam

I called the coroner today about Amanda's ( demonbuttercup 's ) toxicology report. It's done but the pathologist still hasn't determined a cause of death. I'm not sure at all why I want to know but I just feel like I need to know. Either way I can play some game of making myself feel guilty for it or better for it but anyone that knows me knows I'll pick the guilty way. It's the times where it just comes completely out of the blue and hits me like the moment I found her that just wear me away. I feel half-alive myself lately. Time hasn't healed anything...if anything it's made me feel more guilty but at least those moments aren't as often despite their increased severity.

In kiss of death news a drummer is coming out for a second run at it tomorrow. He did great last time and he might actually be into it. I have no idea how it'll happen but something will....not that I'm overly negative but damn it's just happened so many damn times. We just need someone to spontaneously combust.