obnoxiouspants

i had to put my Milo Baby Angel Kitty to sleep today...



we found her this morning curled up and not moving cause whenever she tried to she was shaky and you could tell it hurt her.

i layed with her on her sheep skin rug she's been sleeping on since she was a tiny runt of a kitten hoping she'd be better....

but she wasn't so i took her to the vet...
had her wrapped in a towel because she hates her carrying case...
she perked up in the car and peed on me which is her norm on any car trip so she seemed better....

but when we got to the vet she just layed in my arms not moving..
didn't even perk up when she heard dogs...
she normally is very wiggly and scared of dogs...

didn't try to hide from the nurses or doctor...
didn't try to get away when they were checking her out and taking her temperature....

they did some blood work and found that her kidneys were shutting down..

and with her thyroid problem she would have to spend the rest of whatever life we could try to give her getting medicine in her ears and shots twice a day... and still be throwing up lots, limping in pain and sleeping way more then normal.

so my mom, sister and i spent over an hour just holding her and crying until it was time to say goodbye...

my sister and i held her tight while the doctor gave her the shots...

they gave me some tuffs of her fur and a paw print

i'm getting her paw print tattooed just below my left collarbone because she always used to rest her head there when she'd sit on my breasts while i held her.

i can't believe she's gone...
i've had her since i was eight and she was newborn ball of orange fuzz.

shit. i can't stop crying.