Alright, alright, I'll take a minute and write a little something, come back later and expound upon the subject. Recently my life has been a little wacky, with all the shit I have been trying to get finished - not enough hours in the day, my friends. But I get sidetracked...
Recently I am at the mall (to get perfume) and an older woman there asks me a few questions about my shoulder tattoo, tells be I am a brave and beautiful woman, and asks me if I could see my way to it to give an 85 year old woman a ride to her home - of course in the opposite direction of my job that I am late for. And looking down upon this tiny Hungarian lady with a piece of clear packing tape stuck to her forehead over a small wound (she later tells me she slipped and fell in the supermarket), I feel infinitely sorry for her. So I help her with her bags and she clings to me in a deathgrip I didn't think capable of an 85 year old and we exit to my car amid the middle aged women weilding their best disgusted and disdainful looks. OF COURSE! I think! How dare this woman be outside of her house! How dare she be excited about babies being pushed in strollers by hispanic nannies! How dare she speak and tell me about her life! Maybe she came to the mall all the time and harassed people with her senility. I wouldn't have known - I only go every 6 mos for about 15 minutes.
On the way to her house she is telling me how tired she is, how very very tired, and that she had some leftover meatballs at her house and how her husband, God rest his soul, LOVED her cooking and if he were still alive they would have been married for 40 years, and then she cries. I don't know what to do. She quickly recovers and then starts talking again and over the next 30 minutes, wells up with tears another 4 times. She tells me she is vain, she says "what a vain woman I am, it is better then not looking after yourself - I am still vain" she says - but look at my face (pulling at her wrinkles - look at this!) I say that it comes with age to everyone and I find it beautiful. PAH she scoffs at me.
I get her to her house and help her up and I give her my phone number and she calls me the next day and can't remember if it was last week or the week before when she met me.....
Recently I am at the mall (to get perfume) and an older woman there asks me a few questions about my shoulder tattoo, tells be I am a brave and beautiful woman, and asks me if I could see my way to it to give an 85 year old woman a ride to her home - of course in the opposite direction of my job that I am late for. And looking down upon this tiny Hungarian lady with a piece of clear packing tape stuck to her forehead over a small wound (she later tells me she slipped and fell in the supermarket), I feel infinitely sorry for her. So I help her with her bags and she clings to me in a deathgrip I didn't think capable of an 85 year old and we exit to my car amid the middle aged women weilding their best disgusted and disdainful looks. OF COURSE! I think! How dare this woman be outside of her house! How dare she be excited about babies being pushed in strollers by hispanic nannies! How dare she speak and tell me about her life! Maybe she came to the mall all the time and harassed people with her senility. I wouldn't have known - I only go every 6 mos for about 15 minutes.
On the way to her house she is telling me how tired she is, how very very tired, and that she had some leftover meatballs at her house and how her husband, God rest his soul, LOVED her cooking and if he were still alive they would have been married for 40 years, and then she cries. I don't know what to do. She quickly recovers and then starts talking again and over the next 30 minutes, wells up with tears another 4 times. She tells me she is vain, she says "what a vain woman I am, it is better then not looking after yourself - I am still vain" she says - but look at my face (pulling at her wrinkles - look at this!) I say that it comes with age to everyone and I find it beautiful. PAH she scoffs at me.
I get her to her house and help her up and I give her my phone number and she calls me the next day and can't remember if it was last week or the week before when she met me.....
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I have a little old lady living next door and although her family check up on her regularly they don't come as often as they could and she doesn't seem to have any other friends or visitors. She doesn't seem to have any other hobbies or activities either, and now her cat's died she's probably awful lonesome. I try to knock when I can to see if she needs any help or whether there's anything I can get her and she always seems teary-eyed that anyone would make the effort.
I guess it's also a generation gap thing here in the UK. Anyone in their 60s or older had to live through the hardship and the aftermath of WWII with rationing, depression and poverty and their attitude as a result is just to bite the tongue and deal with it, not wanting to be a bother or a burden to anyone.