Lordkalkin and I both have Venus in Taurus and tonight we were talking to another friend for whom this is also true. She mentioned this because she has a traditional bend to the way she views relationships and thinks this is why.
Now I've always had a problem with the way Taurians are characterized in relationships because it never fits Lordkalkin at all and he had five inner planets in Taurus. He had little to no traditional bends towards anything.
I think I hit on something though. I don't think that traditionalism itself is actually part of the Taurian profile. I think it is a side effect of the strong Taurian need for safety and security. I think it is the same as the psychological link between insecurity in children and traditionalism.
This is actually quite in keeping with the fact that when I met him Lordkalkin was still interested in getting married. I was already mistrustful and disenchanted with the institution and I did drag him into that view a bit, but we've ended up feeling really safe and secure in the type of relationship we've built together.
I feel way more secure knowing the particular motivations for my partners' behaviors than I do trusting an accepted dating script. I realize that structured social games/ institutions/ etiquette can be comforting for some people because helps them get a handle on situations and a default way to behave. But for me that stuff feels scary because I always feel like I'm relying on something with no substance that could fail me at any moment. I'm not comfortable with people unless I feel like they are being open and genuine. Cagey people tend to really mess with me, with a few exceptions. And if I can't feel close to someone, I'm usually very distant and often very quiet, which is why alot of people think I'm so anti-social. Occasionally I'm more talkative around new people, but it often leads to alot of social anxiety later when rehashing the conversation. But that is a whole separate set of issues.
Another thing that came up reminded me of how hard it is to get people to understand poly couples that do not "pick up" people or "take them home." I guess the more swinger style couple would be the ones people had more encounters with. I don't have moral a problem with that kind of thing, it's more of an "eww, asparagus is really yucky," kind of reaction. I am really mystified by how people proposition other people. Whenever that "any girl can get sex thing" comes up I'm always thinking, no, you do have to know how to ask for it, which I don't, and I'm pretty sure I would not ever want to make use of that knowledge if I had it. Same for drinks. If I drank I would not get drinks out of guys because I don't act in a way that would get me free drinks. I do not get offered drinks or get picked up on, I think people have tried a couple of times but I don't usually understand the situation very well.
Also, I am really hooked on Big Love for some reason.
Now I've always had a problem with the way Taurians are characterized in relationships because it never fits Lordkalkin at all and he had five inner planets in Taurus. He had little to no traditional bends towards anything.
I think I hit on something though. I don't think that traditionalism itself is actually part of the Taurian profile. I think it is a side effect of the strong Taurian need for safety and security. I think it is the same as the psychological link between insecurity in children and traditionalism.
This is actually quite in keeping with the fact that when I met him Lordkalkin was still interested in getting married. I was already mistrustful and disenchanted with the institution and I did drag him into that view a bit, but we've ended up feeling really safe and secure in the type of relationship we've built together.
I feel way more secure knowing the particular motivations for my partners' behaviors than I do trusting an accepted dating script. I realize that structured social games/ institutions/ etiquette can be comforting for some people because helps them get a handle on situations and a default way to behave. But for me that stuff feels scary because I always feel like I'm relying on something with no substance that could fail me at any moment. I'm not comfortable with people unless I feel like they are being open and genuine. Cagey people tend to really mess with me, with a few exceptions. And if I can't feel close to someone, I'm usually very distant and often very quiet, which is why alot of people think I'm so anti-social. Occasionally I'm more talkative around new people, but it often leads to alot of social anxiety later when rehashing the conversation. But that is a whole separate set of issues.
Another thing that came up reminded me of how hard it is to get people to understand poly couples that do not "pick up" people or "take them home." I guess the more swinger style couple would be the ones people had more encounters with. I don't have moral a problem with that kind of thing, it's more of an "eww, asparagus is really yucky," kind of reaction. I am really mystified by how people proposition other people. Whenever that "any girl can get sex thing" comes up I'm always thinking, no, you do have to know how to ask for it, which I don't, and I'm pretty sure I would not ever want to make use of that knowledge if I had it. Same for drinks. If I drank I would not get drinks out of guys because I don't act in a way that would get me free drinks. I do not get offered drinks or get picked up on, I think people have tried a couple of times but I don't usually understand the situation very well.
Also, I am really hooked on Big Love for some reason.