@bloghomework @rambo @missy @lyxzen
So this homework is a little late but better late than never, right? HaHa
I love this photo for a few reasons. I think it is aesthetically pleasing meaning I feel like my own appearance fits really well with the location and I'm really pleased with how everything went together. I'm really happy with my makeup in this picture too. The day @the_mortal and I shot this set, I decided I was going to try something new that day and I feel like it actually worked out... That never happens. Anytime I try new things with makeup it never works out the first time. I always have to start over before I'm finally like, "Fuck it... its good enough" but that did not happen this time. I did my make up once and was like, "oooh girl you are a genius" LOL!
Another new thing I decided I was going to try with this set is include my crutches in this set. This is something I was both excited and very nervous about. Since I started modeling for SG I knew at some point I did want to do a shoot with my crutches but I just wasn't comfortable enough yet. Growing up I was used to my disability not always being well received or I felt like it was what others would focus on the most and miss who I really was as a person. When I started SG I knew at some point I would feel comfortable putting my disability out there one day, for all the world to see. I just wanted to make sure everyone had a chance to get to know me as a person first that way I wouldn't fear my disability over shadowing me like it did when I was growing up.
In my set "home sweet home" you can see my crutches but that doesn't really count because I never actually used them in that set like I do in this one. When my set went into queue this is the first photo I shared because its awesome but I was nervous and I had to mentally prepare myself like. "Ok Nymm you're probably going to get some haters because the internet is where trolls live, but remember you are beautiful and strong and you can handle it like always. If they make fun of your crutches they are just stupid anyway."
That was literally the pep talk I gave myself before I posted this to facebook and instagram. To my surprise my photo got the most attention of probably anything I've posted on social media and there were NO trolls or mean comments insight! The feedback I received was all so positive and so accepting, I cried... I've never in my whole life experienced so much positivity about my cerebral palsy. And every time I look at this photo I am so proud of myself because even though I don't think my CP is a big deal. Its always been a big deal to other people, its gotten better but a scared girl afraid of being bullied or judged has always lived somewhere deep inside of me. I feel like deciding to include this part of myself in my set. Is a big step towards just not giving a fuck what other people think not only about me but my disability. It took a lot of guts and honestly shows how much I've grown as a model and as a person. I am so thankful I found this community and thankful that Missy and SG staff gave me a shot at modeling for SG because I have grown and changed so much for the better since I started. Who knows maybe I would have never overcome my fears at all had it not been for you guys. SG over the years has made me stronger, ballzier, and taught me to love myself no matter what anyone says or thinks. I love this photo because every time I look at it I'm reminded of how far I've come and it makes me feel so proud of myself. Granted I'm not all the way where I want to be yet, but all good things take time and I feel I'm definitely on the right track.
