nyghtwish

Okay. Breathe. Remember to breathe. I seem to start going a little crazy when I haven't been to therapy in a few weeks. I need that centering, readjusting. I often feel like I'm always the listener when it comes to my friends, that they bring me their problems and I listen and work through things that are their issues. Yet I don't have the ability...
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Ugh ugh ugh. I have so much stuff to be doing and no motivation to do any of it. I have the GRE on Friday. MAJOR. My classes start tomorrow. MAJOR. My grad school application is due on Saturday. MAAAAJOR.

WTF why do I always procrastinate like this? It's like I want to fail or something. I get so angry at my current situation, the...
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Well, let me just say this. Sleeping with your roommates, no matter how fun it is at the time, no matter how great the sex is, is never easy, never uncomplicated.

God. Lots has happened. I got a promotion at work, pretty sweet. It's not really showing a ton of benefits right now since my work load has tripled and there's basically no monetary compensation for that. Sigh. Such is the life of working up the ladder. I got the promotion because my boss got fired so they moved her assistant up to director and moved...
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Do you ever listen to a song on repeat for days because you feel like there's no way you could hear it enough? Do you play it simultaneously on various music players on your computer, burn it onto a CD by itself so it sits on repeat in your car? Maybe it's just me. I've been listening to one song for three or four days...
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Everything's okay. I do feel like I'm grasping at straws many days but I'm still okay. I have realized how much work I still have ahead of me before getting in to grad school or progressing at all in that direction. I'm nervous and excited and determined and weak all at the same time. I've kind of thought that I might want to try out...
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Yep, still living. Things aren't going too hot with the boy, but I'm okay with that. He seems to have a bit of a drinking problem and I'm just not interested in handling something like that. Plus, he's a lot of fun to be around but if I'm with him too long, he starts getting all depressed and weird. Not fun.

I started school and...
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Everything's cool here. I went on a date with a boy I really like. We'll see how things go, I'm not going to get too invested in it right now. I just don't have time for all that. But if things go well, awesome, I'll make the time.

I'm finishing up the last few weeks at work before school starts again. Which, is really more...
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Fuck. I'm still alive. But everything nowdays is this total juggling act. And every time I feel like I've got a good rhythm going, keeping all the pins in the air, I drop one of them and then it's like a waterfall as the rest come crashing down too, just because I wasn't quite in the right place at the right time. Wow, that was...
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I also started some grad school applications yesterday. I'm nervous. I know I can't apply to all these schools in all these programs that I am considering. But I am so scared of tying myself to one, only to realize I made a stupid decision. Fuck. Oh well, there's really no way to avoid that. And I do get to spend the next year doing...
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