SO, my current situation involves a few things:
- I took out a very large loan in order to pay for school and pay my roommate some owed money.
- I still don't know where exactly I'm going to live, but I have options.
- I have entered into an agreement to "babysit" my grandfather next week.
I want to go into this in a bit more detail: my grandfather is 83 years old. He can barely move and now, finally, inexorably, his mind is starting to dull as well. My grandfather Elias left this world nearly four years ago (he would have been 90 were he still alive) with almost no wits about him, and as much as I can't bear the thought of another loved one literally (well, figuratively, really) losing his mind, I almost wish he will. There's a good chance that when I get to be his age (although that's a long shot, given my condition) my body will be practically useless and my mind will be at its keenest. It'll be almost as bad as the situation in Metallica's "One." Except without the whole coma part, another kindness that would be denied me. To have to live completely immobile with a mind like mine, an overthinking mind, all these ideas, some good, most of them not as much, and no way to convey any of them? That is hell. I just hope it isn't going to be mine.
Look at me: my grandfather is falling apart, now let's worry about me! I'm such a schnook.
I think what I meant to say is that if your mind goes, you don't care what shape your body is in, but if you have the wherewithal to recognize that your body is wasting away, that's torture. I don't wish mental illness on my grandfather in a malicious way; to me, it seems quite humane.
Any feedback would be appreciated. I went deeper than I intended to, and I need a support group (or personal fan base, I'll accept either
) to respond this this.
- I took out a very large loan in order to pay for school and pay my roommate some owed money.
- I still don't know where exactly I'm going to live, but I have options.
- I have entered into an agreement to "babysit" my grandfather next week.
I want to go into this in a bit more detail: my grandfather is 83 years old. He can barely move and now, finally, inexorably, his mind is starting to dull as well. My grandfather Elias left this world nearly four years ago (he would have been 90 were he still alive) with almost no wits about him, and as much as I can't bear the thought of another loved one literally (well, figuratively, really) losing his mind, I almost wish he will. There's a good chance that when I get to be his age (although that's a long shot, given my condition) my body will be practically useless and my mind will be at its keenest. It'll be almost as bad as the situation in Metallica's "One." Except without the whole coma part, another kindness that would be denied me. To have to live completely immobile with a mind like mine, an overthinking mind, all these ideas, some good, most of them not as much, and no way to convey any of them? That is hell. I just hope it isn't going to be mine.
Look at me: my grandfather is falling apart, now let's worry about me! I'm such a schnook.
I think what I meant to say is that if your mind goes, you don't care what shape your body is in, but if you have the wherewithal to recognize that your body is wasting away, that's torture. I don't wish mental illness on my grandfather in a malicious way; to me, it seems quite humane.
Any feedback would be appreciated. I went deeper than I intended to, and I need a support group (or personal fan base, I'll accept either
) to respond this this.