crazy.
o.k, a friend sent this to me, and i was surprised, but here it is. supposedly it's real. i really feel for all you girls and boys who chose to date women. we can be...difficult:
>
> Date: Wed, 1 Jun 2005 14:16:18 -0700 (PDT)
>
> Subject: Davey Neal presents: "An Ode to Instability"
>
> Friends, Some of you may remember by ex-girlfriend
> Sarah. I recently recieved a letter from her. I would
> appreciate it if you would take the time to read it
> and review my response. I hope all of you are well.
>
> May 23, 2005
>
> Dear Davey:
>
> I have had a difficult time, over the past few
> years, achieving closure of our relationship. It is
> time for me to seek this. I have gone through the
> appropriate stages of anger, remorse, sadness. It is
> now time for me to close this chapter of my life. I am
> trying to recapture my life and gain a sense of
> identity back. In my professional life I have done
> this, but my personal life struggles. For so long I/We
> were "Sarah and Davey", that it is hard to gain my
> own identity back. I am not worried about my career; I
> will soon succeed even my wildest dreams. I am just
> stunted by my personal life. I am ready to release you
> from my life. I also on a weekly basis encounter
> people who want to tell me about you or have a
> discussion about you. I do not want to deal with this
> anymore. I
> do have a proposal on how to handle this. I am ready
> to no longer be forced to deal with your presence. As
> to how to deal with it, I propose the following:
>
> 1. I've heard you have an apartment on the West
> side. You need to move out of the West side of
> Indianapolis, this has always been my side of town, I
> own a house here, and do not rent like you. I grew up
> here, and
> always want to live here. I would prefer if you were
> to leave Indianapolis all together, but I know this is
> more than I can ask. I do not want to risk running
> into you at any store.
>
> 2. We should officially divide our friends.
> Particularly Jim, Jillian, Amy, and Ed. You should
> write them, thanking them for the opportunity to be
> their friend and explain why you can no longer be in
> contact with them. I can provide you with addresses,
> if you need.
>
> 3. I will stay out of Republican politics. I promise
> not to get involved with any Republican politics,
> unless my father runs for judge, and than I reserve
> the right to work on his campaign.
>
> 4. I would like you to not have anything to do with
> all things Cathedral. I feel I should have ownership
> of the school since my mother works there and my
> brother and sisters went there. You are more tied to
> Wabash. This should be where you dedicate your alumni
> status. I will be involved in Cathedral. When the time
> of reunions comes up, I am willing to say that you can
> have the reunions ending in "0" years and I will take
> the "5" years. So you can have 10 years and I will
> take 25 years.
>
> 5. I will avoid Wabash contacts. The few guys from
> the house I still speak to on a rare basis, I will
> not. I will also discourage any male offspring I have
> from
> attending Wabash.
>
> I know some of these things seem a bit harsh, but I
> feel they are for the best. I do not ever really wish
> to see you again. I know that this will of course
> happen beyond my control, but I think we should do our
> best to avoid what we can.
>
> It is my sincere hope that you understand, and do take
> the time to respond. This is my last request of you.
>
> With fondness,
>
> Sarah
>
>
>
> May 31, 2005
>
> Dear Sarah,
>
> Thanks for your letter. We broke up 3 years ago.
> Knowing that and taking into consideration you believe
> me to be a cold, career focused, ego-maniac, what on
> earth makes you think I would take the time to think
> about you or agree to your proposal? But since I
> clearly have taken the time to respond, please take a
> moment to review some comments and counterproposals I
> have crafted.
>
> 1. First, I will have to resist the burning urge to
> move RIGHT NEXT DOOR TO YOU. After that deep desire
> subsides, I will vacate the Westside and return to my
> roots: The Snooty Northside, as you used to call it.
> However, since I was born on the Northside and I have
> Northside in my veins you must abdicate all ties to
> the North. This includes: Living on the Northside,
> living on the Northeastside, walking down North
> Street, being a fan of the Dallas Stars (formerly the
> Minnesota North Stars), wearing North Face apparel or
> telling your children that Santa lives at the North
> Pole.
>
> 1 (B). I was born in Indianapolis before you were
> so I should really get to determine who stays and who
> goes. In my benevolence I will let you exist here only
> within the St. Michael's Parish boundary (MLK Dr. to
> High School Rd. and 56th Street to 10th St.) We will
> call this the SarahZone. This should be acceptable for
> you as your family lives across the street and there
> is a gas station, grocery, convenience store, your
> place of employment and a fire station. Exceptions can
> be made with my expressed written consent. You will
> be required to display a large tag in your windshield
> giving you permission to travel beyond the SarahZone.
>
> 2. I haven't talked to your friends since we broke
> up. I think they got the message. However since we
> apparently are still in fourth grade, please have your
> friends meet me by the playground at recess so that I
> can tell them they have big fat heads and they aren't
> my friends anymore.
>
> Do you agree? _______Yes ________No________Maybe
>
> 2 (B). One of the few times you let us do
> something fun, we visited some of my family friends on
> Geist. It was about eight years ago. We enjoyed their
> boat and home for several hours during a pre-500
> party. Please jot them a note saying you are going to
> forget that ever happened. Please also offer to
> reimburse them for
> the boat gas, pool chlorine, air conditioning Freon,
> Dr. Pepper and anything else you consumed while you
> were there. I don't have their address anymore, you
> can look it up.
>
> 3. Please let me know when your father runs for
> anything. I'm going to run against him.
>
> 3 (B). Thanks for staying out of Republican
> politics. Your heavyweight presence in the party will
> be sorely missed. I am very involved in ice hockey. I
> play recreationally and coach a youth team in the
> winter. I would prefer it if you could stop being
> involved in all things related to ice and ice hockey.
> You can use those instant first aid coldpaks to cool
> your drinks from now on.
>
> Also, my parents have been very involved with the
> Indianapolis 500 Festival for nearly 20 years. The
> month of May is really a big month for us. While I am
> not able to honor your request of moving out of
> Indianapolis, I would ask that you just leave town
> during May. With 250,000 fans going to the race and
> 35,000 runners in the Mini-Marathon, I don't want to
> run the risk of bumping into you. I know your birthday
> is in May, but man, I just don't care.
>
> 4. Christ, I don't have the energy for this one.
>
> 5. If any of my friends from Wabash actually still
> talk to you, they are fucking fired as friends.
>
> 5 (B). I'm not going to tell my kids anything
> about you. But speaking of kids, it would be okay with
> me if my son was a crack addict, just as long as he
> got your kids hooked on it and became their dealer.
>
> In closing, I will never make decisions about my life
> or my family based on whether I might run into you at
> the store. I am now convinced that if we ever do bump
> into each other, you will spontaneously combust. I
> wish you the best of luck find a spouse.
>
> Seriously. It won't be easy to find a person who is
> willing to spend the rest of his life raising children
> and making decisions based on your crazy-ass proposal
> to an ex-boyfriend and your inability to act like a
> rational human being.
>
> All my best,
>
> Davey
>
o.k, a friend sent this to me, and i was surprised, but here it is. supposedly it's real. i really feel for all you girls and boys who chose to date women. we can be...difficult:
>
> Date: Wed, 1 Jun 2005 14:16:18 -0700 (PDT)
>
> Subject: Davey Neal presents: "An Ode to Instability"
>
> Friends, Some of you may remember by ex-girlfriend
> Sarah. I recently recieved a letter from her. I would
> appreciate it if you would take the time to read it
> and review my response. I hope all of you are well.
>
> May 23, 2005
>
> Dear Davey:
>
> I have had a difficult time, over the past few
> years, achieving closure of our relationship. It is
> time for me to seek this. I have gone through the
> appropriate stages of anger, remorse, sadness. It is
> now time for me to close this chapter of my life. I am
> trying to recapture my life and gain a sense of
> identity back. In my professional life I have done
> this, but my personal life struggles. For so long I/We
> were "Sarah and Davey", that it is hard to gain my
> own identity back. I am not worried about my career; I
> will soon succeed even my wildest dreams. I am just
> stunted by my personal life. I am ready to release you
> from my life. I also on a weekly basis encounter
> people who want to tell me about you or have a
> discussion about you. I do not want to deal with this
> anymore. I
> do have a proposal on how to handle this. I am ready
> to no longer be forced to deal with your presence. As
> to how to deal with it, I propose the following:
>
> 1. I've heard you have an apartment on the West
> side. You need to move out of the West side of
> Indianapolis, this has always been my side of town, I
> own a house here, and do not rent like you. I grew up
> here, and
> always want to live here. I would prefer if you were
> to leave Indianapolis all together, but I know this is
> more than I can ask. I do not want to risk running
> into you at any store.
>
> 2. We should officially divide our friends.
> Particularly Jim, Jillian, Amy, and Ed. You should
> write them, thanking them for the opportunity to be
> their friend and explain why you can no longer be in
> contact with them. I can provide you with addresses,
> if you need.
>
> 3. I will stay out of Republican politics. I promise
> not to get involved with any Republican politics,
> unless my father runs for judge, and than I reserve
> the right to work on his campaign.
>
> 4. I would like you to not have anything to do with
> all things Cathedral. I feel I should have ownership
> of the school since my mother works there and my
> brother and sisters went there. You are more tied to
> Wabash. This should be where you dedicate your alumni
> status. I will be involved in Cathedral. When the time
> of reunions comes up, I am willing to say that you can
> have the reunions ending in "0" years and I will take
> the "5" years. So you can have 10 years and I will
> take 25 years.
>
> 5. I will avoid Wabash contacts. The few guys from
> the house I still speak to on a rare basis, I will
> not. I will also discourage any male offspring I have
> from
> attending Wabash.
>
> I know some of these things seem a bit harsh, but I
> feel they are for the best. I do not ever really wish
> to see you again. I know that this will of course
> happen beyond my control, but I think we should do our
> best to avoid what we can.
>
> It is my sincere hope that you understand, and do take
> the time to respond. This is my last request of you.
>
> With fondness,
>
> Sarah
>
>
>
> May 31, 2005
>
> Dear Sarah,
>
> Thanks for your letter. We broke up 3 years ago.
> Knowing that and taking into consideration you believe
> me to be a cold, career focused, ego-maniac, what on
> earth makes you think I would take the time to think
> about you or agree to your proposal? But since I
> clearly have taken the time to respond, please take a
> moment to review some comments and counterproposals I
> have crafted.
>
> 1. First, I will have to resist the burning urge to
> move RIGHT NEXT DOOR TO YOU. After that deep desire
> subsides, I will vacate the Westside and return to my
> roots: The Snooty Northside, as you used to call it.
> However, since I was born on the Northside and I have
> Northside in my veins you must abdicate all ties to
> the North. This includes: Living on the Northside,
> living on the Northeastside, walking down North
> Street, being a fan of the Dallas Stars (formerly the
> Minnesota North Stars), wearing North Face apparel or
> telling your children that Santa lives at the North
> Pole.
>
> 1 (B). I was born in Indianapolis before you were
> so I should really get to determine who stays and who
> goes. In my benevolence I will let you exist here only
> within the St. Michael's Parish boundary (MLK Dr. to
> High School Rd. and 56th Street to 10th St.) We will
> call this the SarahZone. This should be acceptable for
> you as your family lives across the street and there
> is a gas station, grocery, convenience store, your
> place of employment and a fire station. Exceptions can
> be made with my expressed written consent. You will
> be required to display a large tag in your windshield
> giving you permission to travel beyond the SarahZone.
>
> 2. I haven't talked to your friends since we broke
> up. I think they got the message. However since we
> apparently are still in fourth grade, please have your
> friends meet me by the playground at recess so that I
> can tell them they have big fat heads and they aren't
> my friends anymore.
>
> Do you agree? _______Yes ________No________Maybe
>
> 2 (B). One of the few times you let us do
> something fun, we visited some of my family friends on
> Geist. It was about eight years ago. We enjoyed their
> boat and home for several hours during a pre-500
> party. Please jot them a note saying you are going to
> forget that ever happened. Please also offer to
> reimburse them for
> the boat gas, pool chlorine, air conditioning Freon,
> Dr. Pepper and anything else you consumed while you
> were there. I don't have their address anymore, you
> can look it up.
>
> 3. Please let me know when your father runs for
> anything. I'm going to run against him.
>
> 3 (B). Thanks for staying out of Republican
> politics. Your heavyweight presence in the party will
> be sorely missed. I am very involved in ice hockey. I
> play recreationally and coach a youth team in the
> winter. I would prefer it if you could stop being
> involved in all things related to ice and ice hockey.
> You can use those instant first aid coldpaks to cool
> your drinks from now on.
>
> Also, my parents have been very involved with the
> Indianapolis 500 Festival for nearly 20 years. The
> month of May is really a big month for us. While I am
> not able to honor your request of moving out of
> Indianapolis, I would ask that you just leave town
> during May. With 250,000 fans going to the race and
> 35,000 runners in the Mini-Marathon, I don't want to
> run the risk of bumping into you. I know your birthday
> is in May, but man, I just don't care.
>
> 4. Christ, I don't have the energy for this one.
>
> 5. If any of my friends from Wabash actually still
> talk to you, they are fucking fired as friends.
>
> 5 (B). I'm not going to tell my kids anything
> about you. But speaking of kids, it would be okay with
> me if my son was a crack addict, just as long as he
> got your kids hooked on it and became their dealer.
>
> In closing, I will never make decisions about my life
> or my family based on whether I might run into you at
> the store. I am now convinced that if we ever do bump
> into each other, you will spontaneously combust. I
> wish you the best of luck find a spouse.
>
> Seriously. It won't be easy to find a person who is
> willing to spend the rest of his life raising children
> and making decisions based on your crazy-ass proposal
> to an ex-boyfriend and your inability to act like a
> rational human being.
>
> All my best,
>
> Davey
>
Peas,
DV