I'm having friend "issues." I would definitely not go as far as to call it the dreaded "d" word (drama! oh nos!) but it's upsetting to me. I feel very used as a scapegoat by someone. She wants to do things and practically begs me to talk her into them, though most of the time she finally does that herself, and then when she doesn't like them for whatever reason (or, let's be honest, my roommate she's hung up on doesn't like them) she blames me in harsh ways... behind my back. And, 9 times out of 10 she is staying at my house for an extended period of time and talking so I can hear her when she does this. She's not very quiet...
Last night was the straw that broke this particular camel's back for me. She was making cookies for my roommate (or they were doing it together, I don't know) and both kind of assumed they could use my hand mixer but when I walked into the room she kinda looked at me and told him to ask me. I never officially said no, but rather, "Not gonna do them the old fashioned way... with a spoon?" Because, honestly, had I been asked right from the start of this idea (two or three days ago), I would have said yes completely, but by that point I was annoyed they had just assumed they could use something of mine I've only used once or twice (to make things for them, actually) without asking. *sigh* But she railed on about how the cookies she made for him that he "just *LOVED*" (she mentions them like that alot when she's trying to put down my ideas or skills as a cook/baker) were made with a hand mixer. *facepalm* They'll still taste the same mixed with a spoon...
Once in the kitchen she tried to be quiet in telling him how much she hates the colors in her hair (that she had the idea to do and asked me to put in for her) and how she's just glad they'll wash out because she hates how I did them and they look bad. She then went on to more or less tell my roommate she was forced into it by me. What the fuck? Did she not put the pieces together when I've told her before voices carry easily from one room to the one next to it in this house? Did she not walk by my 6 or 7 times while I was sitting in it reading? Idiot. I say she's an idiot because whenever she came into the room I was in she tried to be friendly with my or offer me a taste. I declined, especially after I heard her say, "This would have been so much faster if she had just let her use her stupid mixer. How dumb," and he, the boy with supposed good upper body strength, had bitched about how "hard it was." I normally bake cookies completely without aid from a hand mixer and I'm a girl with a seriously fucked up right arm and I can do that in half the time and without any of the complaining it took them. *facepalm*
All these little things she's been doing like that (and, no, that wasn't the first... I'm the scapegoat alot and the excuse for her to come out here and stay for weeks at a time when he why she won't go home or is here so much after he all but broke up with her or her blaming my boyfriend for her steak being overcooked the other night [about lost it there] when she told him to keep it on the grill longer), are adding up at top speed. In fact, I'm pretty much done with her as soon as I can weasel my way out of this "friendship."
She's a nice enough person to people she likes (though she's a bitch to most others and tips for crap though she praises her own virtues as a good tipper), but I can see why she lost most of her friends before we started hanging out and counts me as one of her few. She's very back stabby and two-faced.
Ugh. Sorry for rambling on about this but I had to get it out. Bottled for explosion is NEVER good.
Last night was the straw that broke this particular camel's back for me. She was making cookies for my roommate (or they were doing it together, I don't know) and both kind of assumed they could use my hand mixer but when I walked into the room she kinda looked at me and told him to ask me. I never officially said no, but rather, "Not gonna do them the old fashioned way... with a spoon?" Because, honestly, had I been asked right from the start of this idea (two or three days ago), I would have said yes completely, but by that point I was annoyed they had just assumed they could use something of mine I've only used once or twice (to make things for them, actually) without asking. *sigh* But she railed on about how the cookies she made for him that he "just *LOVED*" (she mentions them like that alot when she's trying to put down my ideas or skills as a cook/baker) were made with a hand mixer. *facepalm* They'll still taste the same mixed with a spoon...
Once in the kitchen she tried to be quiet in telling him how much she hates the colors in her hair (that she had the idea to do and asked me to put in for her) and how she's just glad they'll wash out because she hates how I did them and they look bad. She then went on to more or less tell my roommate she was forced into it by me. What the fuck? Did she not put the pieces together when I've told her before voices carry easily from one room to the one next to it in this house? Did she not walk by my 6 or 7 times while I was sitting in it reading? Idiot. I say she's an idiot because whenever she came into the room I was in she tried to be friendly with my or offer me a taste. I declined, especially after I heard her say, "This would have been so much faster if she had just let her use her stupid mixer. How dumb," and he, the boy with supposed good upper body strength, had bitched about how "hard it was." I normally bake cookies completely without aid from a hand mixer and I'm a girl with a seriously fucked up right arm and I can do that in half the time and without any of the complaining it took them. *facepalm*
All these little things she's been doing like that (and, no, that wasn't the first... I'm the scapegoat alot and the excuse for her to come out here and stay for weeks at a time when he why she won't go home or is here so much after he all but broke up with her or her blaming my boyfriend for her steak being overcooked the other night [about lost it there] when she told him to keep it on the grill longer), are adding up at top speed. In fact, I'm pretty much done with her as soon as I can weasel my way out of this "friendship."
She's a nice enough person to people she likes (though she's a bitch to most others and tips for crap though she praises her own virtues as a good tipper), but I can see why she lost most of her friends before we started hanging out and counts me as one of her few. She's very back stabby and two-faced.
Ugh. Sorry for rambling on about this but I had to get it out. Bottled for explosion is NEVER good.
liathach:
Sounds very stressy. I know it's sometimes a tough call, but would it not be worth trying to talk it through? Not coming out with a laundry list of issues, but just making a couple of observations about her behaviour and how it makes you feel, without rubbing her face in it? Maybe she'll just fly off the handle anyway, but at least you'll know then, that even when the issues are pointed out to her, she's not interested in addressing them. Hope it works out - it's a nightmare, sometimes, sharing with 'friends'!