numbers

Dear HelloNurse,
I'm waiting for you at my apartment right now. You don't know this yet, because you are on a subway, rocketing my direction through the bowels of metropolis, but I bought vodka and sake. Because they are clear, they are perfectly acceptable to drink before we start wandering around looking for dinner. In addition, I have acquired Red Bull. Some detractors might...
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Where the fuck have you been?

Where indeed? I've been around. Miami, Ohio, Detroit, etc. I was placed on a new project for work. It's big. Not "big" as in "this'll change my career", but big in the sense of "super complex and full of pitfalls." The fact that I have so much work and responsibility is part of the explanation for my absence, and...
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They Hung the Jerk, That Invented Work

In the Big Rock Candy Mountain! So I've been putting in the hours like a migrant worker recently. And it's really boring shit too. Really boring. Like I considered taking a break to get a colonic the other day boring. Anyway, I'm going to try to find time to catch up today or this weekend.

OK, here's the...
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I'm Full of Rice

The grocer down the street from my apartment sells mostly organic sundries. Before you start feeling bad for me, they also have a deli counter which pumps out all the unhealthy combinations of meat and cheese that make me swoon. Their snacks are different though. Nary a Dorito in the house. I'm forced to substitute Kame flavored rice crackers and hummus....
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State of my Motherfuckin' Union

Here are some things that have happened to me recently:

Bit by dog I got bit by a fucking dog. I had to spend three hours in the hospital on Superbowl Sunday getting cleaned out, having antibiotics pumped into me via IV, and generally feeling like a huge douche-bag. Apropos of this, fuck dogs.

In Court Not for me, for...
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No Rest for the Wicked

I used to complain about traveling constantly. My life used to consist of a 4am wakeup on Monday, flight to another city, work all week, flight back home Friday, and finally socialize Friday and Saturday and pack on Sunday. It sucked. Now, I live a somewhat normal life (which is bound to change at some point) and so I end...
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The Colloquial Value of Me as a Plentiful Resource Has Been Adjusted to Reflect Todays Higher Cost of Living
or: I'm a dollar a dozen

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On In 2, Three Putt for Par

This pretty much sums up my life. So I'm playing golf yesterday at the lovely Las Colinas resort, and enjoyed many free beers and got myself some sun. So I only get to play a few times a year, but I used to be good. Anyway, I'm the 2nd best of the foursome and I'm playing alright considering...
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No Reply

So I hung out with my Dad last night. It was sort of a last minute decision to flee the city and and certain debaucherous binge drinking, and spend some quality time with the family. We ate delicous steaks which the old man cooked on the grill. It's important to note that the weather was bad in the biblical sense last night, so...
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Waste Makes Haste

Or so they say. I've been making an effort to waste time recently, so I guess I've been wasting money. I also waste actual money on all sorts of stuff. I also get wasted a lot. All of these factors have contributed to the tighter-than-a-toads-ass timeframe I have to get into business school now. Maybe it's because this is how I tend...
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Satisfaction

A man walks down the street thinking about roasted lamb and pocket bread. He's just solved a rather complex issue relating to a global settlement for past due property taxes, and he intends to not think about that again for two days. He passes a homeless man who asks for change and he hands over the 50c in his pocket. He hadn't had a...
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Rain

I'm pissing off a lot of people recently. Mostly myself. I'm disappointed in myself, which is worse than mad sometimes. It makes me feel like becoming a scientologist just so I have something to pass the time with. Also, I think I need that vitamin therapy, and pyramid schemes are really the best way to meet women. See, even when I'm trying to be...
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