numberone

My latest obsession is not California. It is not Baltimore or DC. It is not a cross country bus trip on a vehicle called the Green Tortoise. It is her. It's always her. She takes different forms but it's always the same. I should be obsessed with other things. I should be obsessed with writing and music and travel. Instead I wait for her. I wait for her calls, her responses, her look my way.
Her companionship.
I saw her out the other night. She was sitting in the front row at the movie festival with her new lover. Later I saw her out at the bar. She was alone and drunk again. Over the next few days I waited for her call. She did not call until I was out of town. Almost like she knew. When I got back she was too busy for me. Met someone else it seems and did not need my shoulder.
Tonight I will go out and no doubt I will see her. She'll be at the book store, at the coffee shop, at the bar. She'll give me a hug get real close and rub her body on mine. And then poof she'll be gone.
But she'll be back. She can't stay away. Sometimes it's hard to see her disguises. Sometimes she is fresh out of a relationship and looking for someone to talk to. Sometimes she is a little too friendly from all the highballs she has been drinking. And sometimes she is straight up as confused as I am. Anyway you slice it, there she will be.
My obsession.
Costumed and ready to tear my world down.