numberone

What to do about unrequited love? Especially when you think it is not unrequited? I have had "friends" before but this is the first one that has fallen into full out John Cusack territory. Everyone thinks we are a couple. We bumped into friends today while grocery shopping and they were like, "Oh, this is where you two do your shopping to?" I know of course he could have just been making a general statement but it was in the inflection. He was refering to us as a couple.
I try to get my mind off of her through casual exploits. A couple weeks ago I was lying in bed with this girl who is bi and we were talking about girls in our little scene who I think are hot and I couldn't come up with anyone. Who do I think is hot? I think the girl who can make me laugh like no one else, who is cuter in a Christina Ricci way then Christina herself, who is so honest and true it kills me, I think she is hot. And I don't think anyone else is as hot as her.
Next week will be about a year since the first time I saw her when I was absolutely blown away by her and her outgoingness. Within 15 seconds of our first meeting she had her arms wrapped around me in a hug and then we played a kick ass game of air hockey.
We spend so much damn time together. She told me if I kissed her she would run away. The last person she ran away from was her live in boyfriend of two years who asked her to marry him.
I handle it by doing what we are doing and just getting laid out at the bar every once in a while. I don't want anyone else.
Just her.