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I think I came to another self realization today.

I've never had strong bonds to friends, I'm very quick to turn by back and say fuck you or fuck off.

Back when I was a kid I had two friends in my neighborhood. One of my friends decided he didn't want to hang out with me, so the other one wouldn't either. This was the...
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I'm back to being tired again.

Tired of it all... I've stopped caring about everything again.

Gonnna numb myself for a few months again like I did...

Just when I thought I was out of the horrific groove I've managed to crawl back into it again, so much for any sort of smidgen of hope of light in my life.

I'm Mr. fuck you all...
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All the stupid posturing, boundaries people setup, rules, games...

I watch old movies where people do the same thing, you know what I think...

In 50 years it won't matter, you'll all be dead.

I'm back, I'm fairly normal, and I wanna drink damnit, even if it does lower my immune system and I get sick.

Of everything I've ever gotten a look is what I charish the most.

The first look I got that I enjoyed was one of disdain and open resentment.

The second look I got was one of wonder and curiosity and pity all in...
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I'm so tired of this fucking railroad barreling through my life again.

why do I do it to myself, make myself hurt like this, I must enjoy the pain.

the apetals of my mind of unfolding make the transition much easier into aht eabiss

I hate, this, so here I go again.

touch me, make me feel like a thousand bullets are licking at my...
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I feel comfortably numb.

I think I found my spiritual side again, it was all bottled up in cotton.

I brought it out with a little bit of fire....

It's so lovely, hot smokey iron...

I feel like deep throating a toaster.

like a gray gap, some where in between my fingers by brain starts to drain into the abyss again.

The strange attraction to the end at this time of the year draws me closer to the other side. I really do enjoy this season, melancholy, gray, like something from your past whispering sweet sweet nothings into your ear.

I want to lay on the cold...
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yay

When a snake strikes, does the mouse believe himself to be dead, or does he somehow think he's made it out of the grasp of the snake.

i hope your day has been a good one.

my balls itch... god damnit

people are strange
when your a stranger
women seem wicked
when your alone
when your strange
faces come out in the rain
when your strange
when your strange
when your strange

what a piss of an evening... I've accepted defeat, now all I can do is wait, and do idle rainy day activites until something happens, I hope something happens soon, I'm so very tired......
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