nuke

"How come these things you say,
They always seem to grow and haunt me?

I'd give you everything,
If you just let me stand beside you.

You seem to think that I,
Would let things slide and have you change me,

This darkness just won't go away
No light, inside for me to shine on today
Nothing but darkness in me."

I love that song.

How is everyone? Really? Uh-huh. Tell me about it. No shit? That happened to me once.

Saw Return of the King yesterday. It's good. But sittin through 3 hour movies always makes my ass fall asleep.

Went to the bar Friday. My friend Tony tried to go, but he doesn't have a state ID. He had an ID and it has his birthday, but they wouldn't take it cuz it's not official. So he just sat in the car for a while drinkin on some E&J. While we were playin pool, some old friend of Katie's came up and started talkin to her. Believe her name was Michelle. She asked me to be her partner in a pool game. I suck at pool. I warned her. I don't even remember, we might have won. I was pretty buzzed but not drunk. Lok started tryin to hit on her, even bought her a Come Fuck Me Quickly, which is $8 at the bar we were at. We were tryin to get him to chill and wait for Vizzy to get back, maybe get him some action, but he ended up runnin out of the bar. He's a fuck. The chick kept tryin to start shit with an old friend of mine, Jay. I guess they used to fuck five years ago, then shit went sour. Kept tellin Jay he was evil. I was amused. We ended up goin up to Brad's Brass to hang out with Sam's sister. It's weird to go hang out at a strip joint with your homies sister. Right when we arrived, I went to go buy a pitcher. Three guys at the bar went to my high scool, and each one called me a different name. "Hey, Psycho Sid!" "Chris, is that you man?" "Hey, uh, uh, NuKe, right?" Again, I was amused. Vizzy sat up at the stage, tryin to get the attention of the good lookin stripper, but ended up gettin the attention of the cracked out one. The amusement seemed endless. Afterwards, we went to Sunshine Cafe, and I had some bomb ass French Toast and bacon. Mmmmmmgood. Saw some people I know there, too. It was kinda funny. There we are, a bunch of drunken fools, laughin it up, and some of our other friends show, sober, feeling embarassed sittin with us. Sara, the previously mentioned Sam's sister, brought her friend Cassie, who is fine as hell. She was talkin to Sara so, she sat on my lap. She kept callin me Jesus, cuz the first time she met I hadn't shaved in like 2-3 months, so I was rockin a thick ass beard. Plus I have long hair. So kept askin me why Jesus was drunk and hangin out a titty bar. I had to explain that the last time Jesus came around, he was a carpenter and nobody expected the Savior of humanity to be a carpenter. Now, I'm a drunken juggalo. Nobody expects me to be the second coming. And that's how you build faith. Then I told she was goin to Hell. I told her not to feel bad, everyone at the table was goin. Then I looked at the guy across from me, think his name's Matt. And kinda yelled, "'Cept this guy. All his sins are forgiven!!! He's makin it to heaven! Everyone else is fucked.......... Damn, I'm gonna burn." Yea, if there was ever a living definition of sacrilege, it was me at Sunshine.

On Saturday, after we saw LOTR, we went to Sam's to drink beer and play euchre. Katie was tellin Cassie that her and I had made out last night. So she yells, "Hey Jesus! Did we make out last night?" Kinda caught me off guard. "Uh, not my knowledge. If we did, then I think we both missed it." Won some euchre, lost some euchre. Started thinkin and got a lil depressed. Sara started talkin bout how she's been in my shoes, and I went on about how nobody knows shit about walkin in my shoes. Talked about bein lonely, hating my job, missing my car, and basically hating my life. I hate when I get mopey. Cuz I'm just doin to get pity. And I don't need pity, I just need to fix what I dislike about my life. So I better start now.....

I was there for the end of nice things said....

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