nudwig

hmmmm, dreams from the last two nights (note: these are the supervivid almost lucid type).

watched a man kill himself, in slow mo, with a gun to the head. watched the whole range of emotions and facial expressions from angry hurt and pissed off to happy for who knows why to fading... fading... then dead. no other fanfare than that. usually I wake up before watching something like that all the way through, nope, not this time

watch a scooner blow up in some sort of spectacular 'it was for a universal studios show with a lot of people way' switch to going to eat with ex-girlfriend (we were broken up in dream and it was non-romantic, just for the record) watch scooner get picked up out of muddy marsh thing and swung over our heads to a junkyard by a crane hooked to a VW, restaurant was in one of those muddy junkyard settings, though it was a nice restaurant, inside waiting she splits because she sees some dude she wants to hang out with later, dejected-even on the friend level- I go to the bar just to sit. fuckers bring me a bloody mary when I want nothing, then switch to fuckin weirdos crawing up over the bar trying to get my drink that has now started to taste good, push that fucker back by the head while the switch puts us all in the back of a superstretched convertable limo thing. long story short I'm beating these fuckers off the car with the ex, her dude, and other people from the restaurant all just sitting in the car when we get pulled over by the cops. the bust out the drug sniffing dog who's sniffing and sniffing but you don't see it. finally the dog reveals itself to be one of those fuckin supertiny rich lady dogs so stoaked because he found something on one of those fuckers I pushed off the car and he was peeing all over.

now the thing is that I woke up yesterday excited about life after just witnessing death but the first feeling today was of utter sadness. hmmmm. any interpretations? cos I'm stumped.