novy

There's a softness in life that can be seen in many things overlooked.
A boy renting asian films alone, watching them by himself in the dark, without the alcohol to make him feel alive.
A person eating alone in a Subway restaurant.
Sometimes when I drive around at nightime I forget about other parts of life. I become my own pure being inside of the capsule of steel that is my car.
I put the windows down and sometimes shiver from the cold air that comes in but it doesn't bother me, it really doesn't matter at all.
I achieve this state of mind much like meditation, completely empty.
Sometimes I like to drive and drive with no destination.
Which, coincidentally, seems to be the pattern my life is going in right now.
Sleeping, eating, working, listening to music, with no direction.
I used to think that I was like a cherry blossom being carried by the wind, but as it turns out maybe I'm the cherry blossom that the wind forgot.
I had a very very strange weekend.
I went out to a goth party and I sat there with a friend and watched all the people being social, smiling and laughing, some kind of old silent sci-fi or horror movie was playing on a couple televisions in the club. Another friend of mine was DJing and the whole thing was just very strange to take in.
The way the music coincided with the silent films on the television and the laughs of those around me.
What were they laughing about anyways??
I wasn't laughing.
But on the inside I wished I was.