novinha

Fuck, another day. She wakes up and rolls out of bed. She knows if she doesn't the day is wasted and she'll feel worst. She walks down the halwa like the dead, dragging her feet and graspping the wall for a handrail thats not there. "Damm all we have is instant again." Turns the kettle on and starts making coffee. She knows she needs to eat someting but just grabs a banana. It's a mediocre Monday. Watches news. An hour goes by. She stands up and walks to the bedroom. It's time to run. She puts on her running shorts and sports bra on. Socks go on. She puts on her running shoes and laces them up tight. She heads out for a 6 mile run. As the she opens the entry door, she knows this run will be a battle. Inside she wishes she was back in bed under the warm covers. She steps off. Grudgeng every step, wanting to trun around and give up. Step. Step. Step. Step. 2 miles down. Step. Step. Step. "I can't turn around now." Step. Step. 4 miles down, almost done. Turns up the music. "God this shit sucks, need to make a new mix." She can see the end coming. Faster she runs. Step. Step Step. Faster she runs, as if she is the wind STEP. STEP. STEP. 52:42 mins it took. She knows this is for her dream, her goal, but today it just felt like a waste. She goes back inside and showers off, hopeing that the water will was the feeling of hopelessness away. It doesn't. Back to bed she goes, under the warm covers. Today is still a waste.