Ahh yet again it's that time of the year, it feels like I was just going through this a few months ago, tomorrow is a day I get to remember that I dont have a dad anymore, it's been 12 years but you never forget you just learn to deal with it until you are forced to be reminded of it constantly for a whole week, it's been really tuff and ive tried to keep it in the back of my mind but today it finally hit me, and I ask myself those questions all over again I was so young i still feel parlty to blame it just hurts so bad and the worst thing of all is I dont even have a picture of him anymore because my ex took it to get back at me and probably threw it away just to be a dick..... I just cant wait for this weekend to be over I wish I was home with family... 
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I lost both of my parents some years ago . . . but I was an adult, and they were getting old. I'm guessing its much worse when you're young.
You should visit your family!