nova_____

Okay, wha's the bg idea? I tried not eating and exercsing and walkng 5 miles and stair climbing...Nothng..Then I tried eating carrots and salad...Nothing. So I just ate the most cookies that I have ever eaten in my entire life..Nothing...What gives? Not that I'm fat or anyhing, but I am destined to stay the same size no matter WHAT I do. I am almost 6 feet tall and 155 lbs. That's not really big, but I feel like I am falling for the same old bullshit that we are fed everyday: you have to be skinny to succeed. Well, fuck this jive world! I have a million other talents, and I always feel really stupid whenever I 'm on my "I MUST be skinny" kick. So, I still walk everywhere, do squats, I don't eat fast food or fried food, or really even cookies that often. It doesn't make any difference. I don't get any fatter or any skinnier! It's amazing! At times, I thnk that it's totaly irrational for me to want to be super skinny, but the PRESSURE!! It cnsumes me!! My friend reassures me by telling me I am good stock. I'm tall, I have thick hair, good teeth, never had braces OR a cavity, I am smart, coordinated, athletic(when I feel like it),no glasses, good driver, good sense of humor, musically talented, artistic. hmmm...not too bad now that I have it all writen out! I can't be thin, unfortunately, because in the summer, I work at a block plant making concrete blocks, so I get super built! Plus, if I'm lucky later on this year, I will work for one of the oilfield contractors again. They pay real nice! So, as you can see it would actually be dangerous for me to starve myself. This journal entry has been very therapeutic. Hey, thanks for listening! Love, Nova
P.S. My last name means "tight and fast" in German...no kidding!