nova_____

IF YOU ARE READING THIS, YOU ARE ALREADYDEAD.
I like to eat pencils! I eat them for money. One time, this one guy bought one of those huge novelty pencils for me to eat because he didn't believe I could do it. I sure proved him wrong..and when I got out of the hospital, my doctor waned me about doing things for other people for their own personal amusement. But I am not going to let some stuffed shirt tell me what to do! No, sir. So, if you would like me to eat pencils for money, just submit an essay describing in 100 words or less on how you spent your summer vacation and a contribution to me:NOVA. My alias is "Hyperspeed Kelly", on account of my ability to dis people when they dsplay an insulting lack of knowledge on comic books. just kidding! It is a replacement name for my former alas, "Federal Offence Kelly", which ended up jinxing me, but I won't get into the details right now. I figured that if that's how aliases worked, then it was better to be known for incredible speed rather than be known for commiting a federal offense. I also like long walks in the park and rabid squirels. 3 spelling bees,and I STILL can't spell the word squirrel. squirell. squiril. Oh, well. I must part with this heavenly place, but remember: Every Time You Masturbate, A Kitten Dies. Love,Nova.