notraps_spiltoh

you always beat me to the punch, jab left


i just want to paint.
everything.
bc nothing ever seems to be the colour it's supposed to be.
i've always been somewhat of an escape artist.
but i've never figured out how to break free from this.
even when i close my eyes, i still see everything.
i used to search.... for some place that didn't need any paint...
but the more i search, the less i believe a place like that even exists.
not even in my dreams anymore.

you keep haunting me.
i can't tell if it's a good thing or a bad thing.

it's like a game of blackjack.
you against the dealer.
you have 17.
do you take another hit and hope for something lower than a 5?
do you stand and hope the dealer doesn't have anything higher than you?
or do you surrender and walk away with half your bet?