As of late I have not been in a good place head wise....
Wait, let me rephrase that. For a long itm eI have not been in a good place head wise, as of late I have been in a even worse one.
Not that I have ever been what one owuld call a cheery person I have normally been able to spend most of my time in the greener pastures next to the fence where between here and where everythig is greener. I spent a lot of time looking for a gate over to that side... but never found one. From tiem to time I woudl stand on the fence and feel the warm wind blowing in off the green fields where the sun never seemed to set.
But over the last week I seem to have been drawn closer and closer into the forest on the other side of my mind. The one that is cold and dead. A place bathed in eternal night where the only air flow is a cool, fetid wind that howls out from tress long leafless. It looks like a place full of foul animals that mean no good to anyother living thing.
And it is. I know, I have been there. there is no path and the fater you go the denser it gets. It tangles in your limbs and reachout to grab your flesh with sharp stiff branches.... and when you turn around to back out it seems even worse. Once you get so deep it seems like you can only pres son deeper and deeper.
But it does end.... in a place dark, coold and moonless where the only light is form the stars. There is no wind, there is no sound, there is no anything.
Except for a cliff whose edge you can hardly make out in only the light of the stars. I have no idea how tall it is or whatis at the bottom. It could be insanity, oblivion, or even paradies but it is to dark to tell. I should know, I have spent lots of time at the edge of that cliff... peering down into the abyss trying to get some idea of what is down there.
But I think I finally know...
I think I figurted it out....
I decide what is at the bottom as I fall.
and I sure fuckignhope I'm right because I tonight I sucked it up and jumped right the fuck off.
so far the ride seems nice but lets all hope I come up with somehtign soft to land on... somewher eit is bright and I don;t need to find a gate....
Wait, let me rephrase that. For a long itm eI have not been in a good place head wise, as of late I have been in a even worse one.
Not that I have ever been what one owuld call a cheery person I have normally been able to spend most of my time in the greener pastures next to the fence where between here and where everythig is greener. I spent a lot of time looking for a gate over to that side... but never found one. From tiem to time I woudl stand on the fence and feel the warm wind blowing in off the green fields where the sun never seemed to set.
But over the last week I seem to have been drawn closer and closer into the forest on the other side of my mind. The one that is cold and dead. A place bathed in eternal night where the only air flow is a cool, fetid wind that howls out from tress long leafless. It looks like a place full of foul animals that mean no good to anyother living thing.
And it is. I know, I have been there. there is no path and the fater you go the denser it gets. It tangles in your limbs and reachout to grab your flesh with sharp stiff branches.... and when you turn around to back out it seems even worse. Once you get so deep it seems like you can only pres son deeper and deeper.
But it does end.... in a place dark, coold and moonless where the only light is form the stars. There is no wind, there is no sound, there is no anything.
Except for a cliff whose edge you can hardly make out in only the light of the stars. I have no idea how tall it is or whatis at the bottom. It could be insanity, oblivion, or even paradies but it is to dark to tell. I should know, I have spent lots of time at the edge of that cliff... peering down into the abyss trying to get some idea of what is down there.
But I think I finally know...
I think I figurted it out....
I decide what is at the bottom as I fall.
and I sure fuckignhope I'm right because I tonight I sucked it up and jumped right the fuck off.
so far the ride seems nice but lets all hope I come up with somehtign soft to land on... somewher eit is bright and I don;t need to find a gate....
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
kiki_michelle:
i'm giving you a big hug when i see you i'm glad you jumped.. sometimes its the only sense of progression one can find
corneilus_wright:
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