History, they say, repeats itself.
I used to agree... but I am not sure I do anymore.
I used to believe life was cyclic. That is had an ebb & flow we could not stop. It was handy excuse to write off things I did to myself as beyond my control. Every bad thing that happened to me was simply a result of this natural ebb & flow, history repeating itself.
Later in life I realized that quite often these things where not only in my control but quite often my own fault. This little fact did not, however, prevent me form still using my excuse. Just now the cycles where within me.. or I would write them off to me responding to outside forces that where moving in their own cycles brushing up against and affecting my own. Life was still not a force I controlled, I simply existed within it and reacted to it's ebb & flow as best I could.,
The other day, thanks to a friend who pointed it out to me, I realized that all of this stuff is manufactured by me. I am the one doing it all, there is no ebb & flow, there is no cycle. I am not existing in a wold that is affecting me. I am affecting the world. I am changing and creating my own little world. There really is nothing to blame for it other then own decisions. I can't even put it off as an 'ebb & flow' within myself as all the things I have done to sabatoge my life over the years have been conscious choices. Maybe not rational ones.. maybe ones influenced by outside sources but they where still MY choices.
I don't know why but I have been living under the illusion that these actions by myself where outside of my control. How fucking dense is that? I mean seriously, I am 30 fucking years old... you would think that somewhere in there I would have figured out that all this shit happening in my life was MY choice!? Plus I have realized that I make these choices and then sit around in wallow in self pity about them. I mean what fun is it making yourself miserable if you can;t spend some time trying to make everyone feel sorry for you right? any attention is good attention ya know?
I think it is going to be hard to start with... it already has been so far today. But I think the results will be worth it....
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On a side note my keyboard stopped working halfway through this. I tried to fix it but found out there are a lot more parts inside of one then you would think... I now have a new keyboard and feel inferior as a mechanic because the old one is in 50 gazillion bits and pieces and I have no idea how to make it whole again
I used to agree... but I am not sure I do anymore.
I used to believe life was cyclic. That is had an ebb & flow we could not stop. It was handy excuse to write off things I did to myself as beyond my control. Every bad thing that happened to me was simply a result of this natural ebb & flow, history repeating itself.
Later in life I realized that quite often these things where not only in my control but quite often my own fault. This little fact did not, however, prevent me form still using my excuse. Just now the cycles where within me.. or I would write them off to me responding to outside forces that where moving in their own cycles brushing up against and affecting my own. Life was still not a force I controlled, I simply existed within it and reacted to it's ebb & flow as best I could.,
The other day, thanks to a friend who pointed it out to me, I realized that all of this stuff is manufactured by me. I am the one doing it all, there is no ebb & flow, there is no cycle. I am not existing in a wold that is affecting me. I am affecting the world. I am changing and creating my own little world. There really is nothing to blame for it other then own decisions. I can't even put it off as an 'ebb & flow' within myself as all the things I have done to sabatoge my life over the years have been conscious choices. Maybe not rational ones.. maybe ones influenced by outside sources but they where still MY choices.
I don't know why but I have been living under the illusion that these actions by myself where outside of my control. How fucking dense is that? I mean seriously, I am 30 fucking years old... you would think that somewhere in there I would have figured out that all this shit happening in my life was MY choice!? Plus I have realized that I make these choices and then sit around in wallow in self pity about them. I mean what fun is it making yourself miserable if you can;t spend some time trying to make everyone feel sorry for you right? any attention is good attention ya know?
I think it is going to be hard to start with... it already has been so far today. But I think the results will be worth it....
-----------
On a side note my keyboard stopped working halfway through this. I tried to fix it but found out there are a lot more parts inside of one then you would think... I now have a new keyboard and feel inferior as a mechanic because the old one is in 50 gazillion bits and pieces and I have no idea how to make it whole again
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
My personal view and experience is that you are the creator, the history maker and designer of your destiny... I know it sounds like a clich, but it is what I live by and it works.. I now practice what works for me and repeat it One more thing, the most powerful influence on yourself and your future is those who surround you, another clich but it is so true Just doing, focusing and moving forward always wins -- Life it is so simple... Well, 50% of your concerns are solved just by identifying them So the best to you Un Abrazo Have a great Holiday
1) Tara & I use Canal Street Storage ourselves, and they may very well have options for something as simple as a comic book collection. Space at our own place is such a precious commodity, I myself am tapped for quality options other than a storage facitilty. The apartment building itself has nothing other than a joint for bicycles.
2) If you are trying to keep up on what's coming out, go to Diamond Distribution. That's who supplies all the stores. From the home page, go to the top where it says "Shipping Lists," and click the appropriate date.
Here's the trick though. The release date of that week (for example this week is Wednesday, Dec. 14th) is refreshed and 99.9999% accurate at 4:00pm every Monday. While you can jump a week ahead as well, that list is only tentative. But if you go there now and check out that week's list, it'll tell you virtually everything you need to know about what your store should be receiving.
Let me know if you have any questions.