nothus_a_um

When you can't sleep, you learn not to trust the peripheral. My first dog, the one I learned to walk, keeps appearing to me, always asleep, always across the room. I see her in the background, as my eyes sweep past. She is usually my old tan windbreaker but sometimes she is a pillow, a grocery bag. The German shepherd who just died has been more forceful about insisting she is dead - apparently I believe it; I do not see her anywhere. I imagine that will fade.

Mandy has been gone for a long time. Now she is coming back, to my brain at least. Is it paranoia or hope for something in me to jump at every half-viewed tall skinny shape? I need to sleep.