Mostly alone today. I needed it. I got moved to a new apartment here on campus, and it's full of nerds. Wireless repeater network, LCD projector instead of a television. But they're disgustingly dirty. Two of my room-mates were up playing WoW until 3:30a.m last night, and left chip bags, bottles of beer, and glass steins filled with unnameable sugar liquid all over the place. The kitchen can only be described as squalid. I guess it's just one other fuckin' way I don't even really identify with my target demographic, but I spent most of the day cleaning it all up, making it organized, righting the crooked pots and pans. Then I skipped out. Had my copy of "Document Restoration" with me, and took it to the harbor. Tried to read it while getting a meal at the Hot Bite, but couldn't concentrate. It was absolutely pouring rain, not just the clouds-touching-down mist Auke Bay normally gets. The sea and the air around me were one thing, the salt in the air driving me to look over the harbor railing. Men with fishing poles tearing into a school of salmon around the boats, harbor porpoises arguing over the pieces past the pier. Some kind of pressure pushing me away from the land, book and all - a strange figure at the kayak rental place, Irish cap and blazer with patches on the elbows. With a yellow life preserver overtop. Out past the harbor creatures. Looking back on them. Leaning back in my kayak seat, staring at the sky, mouth open so the rain falls in.
...wake up wet. Change clothes. Awake still. Eyes are dry, stinging a little. Working under this ridiculous desk lamp. Need to make a list, include new desk lamp, and higher wattage bulbs. The light in here is yellow. Soft. Makes me think of sex, not so much studying. Retreating into research. Fell in love in a library elevator yesterday. Been awake for about 38 hours. Sipped coffee, tried to ignore, everything. Weird how things turn out great, when I'm not myself. When I smile at the stranger instead of ignoring their existence. Doors opened, coffee still there. Great. Tension decreases.
Checked to see if the book search for "Edouard Dujardin" had been done yet. No, of course not. Walked home listening to Elliott Smith. Around hour 40, I forced myself to turn off the light. Fell asleep on my tiger blanket. Slipped into a 12 hour coma, woke up to, panic. Overslept by 6 hours. Missed hike. Showered. Listened to the nerds in hangover mode while I caffeinated myself and ate a vegan muffin smeared with peanut butter. Dad called; concerned with my sleeping habits. They see me online all the time. Tough to keep track of time up here, there's too much light. Went to the library. Stayed until I found myself waking up in the dark. Walked to the waffle place to get coffee for the morning. On the way back I run into Elevator. Sense of humor, gets me every time. I'm obviously carrying the textbook that won't fit in my bag, knapsack too full, balancing the coffee. Feeling a little like I didn't want to run into anyone. Yes, I'm going home to study more. Yes, I'm a loser. No, I don't want to see Alaska. I don't know what I want. Put my headphones back in. Modest Mouse, walk me home.
Before all this: staring at the shore, from a sea kayak, in the storming rain in a calm harbour. Exhale the cigarette smoke, toss sodden hat under the skirt and feel the water sleet down your back. Awake. Alone. Alive. Let the half-salty humidity soak into your eyes. Red eyes stare back at shore, at everything you need to go back to. Paddle back through crowing fisherman. Slap soddenly to the floor of your dorm-carpeted room. Sleep, sleep.
...wake up wet. Change clothes. Awake still. Eyes are dry, stinging a little. Working under this ridiculous desk lamp. Need to make a list, include new desk lamp, and higher wattage bulbs. The light in here is yellow. Soft. Makes me think of sex, not so much studying. Retreating into research. Fell in love in a library elevator yesterday. Been awake for about 38 hours. Sipped coffee, tried to ignore, everything. Weird how things turn out great, when I'm not myself. When I smile at the stranger instead of ignoring their existence. Doors opened, coffee still there. Great. Tension decreases.
Checked to see if the book search for "Edouard Dujardin" had been done yet. No, of course not. Walked home listening to Elliott Smith. Around hour 40, I forced myself to turn off the light. Fell asleep on my tiger blanket. Slipped into a 12 hour coma, woke up to, panic. Overslept by 6 hours. Missed hike. Showered. Listened to the nerds in hangover mode while I caffeinated myself and ate a vegan muffin smeared with peanut butter. Dad called; concerned with my sleeping habits. They see me online all the time. Tough to keep track of time up here, there's too much light. Went to the library. Stayed until I found myself waking up in the dark. Walked to the waffle place to get coffee for the morning. On the way back I run into Elevator. Sense of humor, gets me every time. I'm obviously carrying the textbook that won't fit in my bag, knapsack too full, balancing the coffee. Feeling a little like I didn't want to run into anyone. Yes, I'm going home to study more. Yes, I'm a loser. No, I don't want to see Alaska. I don't know what I want. Put my headphones back in. Modest Mouse, walk me home.
Before all this: staring at the shore, from a sea kayak, in the storming rain in a calm harbour. Exhale the cigarette smoke, toss sodden hat under the skirt and feel the water sleet down your back. Awake. Alone. Alive. Let the half-salty humidity soak into your eyes. Red eyes stare back at shore, at everything you need to go back to. Paddle back through crowing fisherman. Slap soddenly to the floor of your dorm-carpeted room. Sleep, sleep.