you know that loneliness that gnaws at the edges of your insides?
i've been feeling that a lot lately and i'm not sure if it's me or if winter's taking its usual toll on me. i'm restless and have this need to be constantly moving. my mind never stops and insomnia has reared its ugly head once again. that feeling of always being ON and never being able to shut OFF is exhausting me. yoga class brings a small relief and focus for an hour, but that flies by in what feels like mere minutes. there's this panic inside me that makes me want to escape... to pack up in the middle of the night and just leave. leave my job, my friends, my apartment, my comfortable life here. the static hums in my ears and i feel helpless against it. it actually makes me sick to think about it.
obviously i don't realistically have anything to complain about. but i'm at this crossroads where i have to decide what the hell i'm going to do with my life for the next little while and i know for sure that i cannot stay here. i know that time flies (i blinked and february is almost over) and that spring will be here shortly. september will creep up and i'll be leaving for somewhere a helluva lot warmer than here.
anywhores...
i was in toronto this week for a trauma nursing conference. it made me realize:
a) how much i miss living in toronto
b) how boring my icu is
c) how much i want to work trauma at sunnybrook
things to look forward to:
i) wednesday night drinkin girls
ii) toronto/hamilton/london at the beginning of march
iii) my parents coming to visit
iv) halifax
v) vegas for the big 2-5? i feel old already.
songs you should listen to:
!) housten we have uh oh - minus the bear
#) hospital beds - cold war kids then watch this:
(i was actually at that show and it was incredible. his voice is so good at the end when he steps away from the microphone and sings without it. also if you're so inclined watch this one. he does the same thing with round here by counting crows. i almost cried.)
$)pistol - dustin kensrue
%) cinder and smoke - iron and wine
^) hell is around the corner - tricky
&) someone's second kiss - rjd2
keep warm kids.
xo
i've been feeling that a lot lately and i'm not sure if it's me or if winter's taking its usual toll on me. i'm restless and have this need to be constantly moving. my mind never stops and insomnia has reared its ugly head once again. that feeling of always being ON and never being able to shut OFF is exhausting me. yoga class brings a small relief and focus for an hour, but that flies by in what feels like mere minutes. there's this panic inside me that makes me want to escape... to pack up in the middle of the night and just leave. leave my job, my friends, my apartment, my comfortable life here. the static hums in my ears and i feel helpless against it. it actually makes me sick to think about it.
obviously i don't realistically have anything to complain about. but i'm at this crossroads where i have to decide what the hell i'm going to do with my life for the next little while and i know for sure that i cannot stay here. i know that time flies (i blinked and february is almost over) and that spring will be here shortly. september will creep up and i'll be leaving for somewhere a helluva lot warmer than here.
anywhores...
i was in toronto this week for a trauma nursing conference. it made me realize:
a) how much i miss living in toronto
b) how boring my icu is
c) how much i want to work trauma at sunnybrook
things to look forward to:
i) wednesday night drinkin girls
ii) toronto/hamilton/london at the beginning of march
iii) my parents coming to visit
iv) halifax
v) vegas for the big 2-5? i feel old already.
songs you should listen to:
!) housten we have uh oh - minus the bear
#) hospital beds - cold war kids then watch this:
(i was actually at that show and it was incredible. his voice is so good at the end when he steps away from the microphone and sings without it. also if you're so inclined watch this one. he does the same thing with round here by counting crows. i almost cried.)
$)pistol - dustin kensrue
%) cinder and smoke - iron and wine
^) hell is around the corner - tricky
&) someone's second kiss - rjd2
keep warm kids.
xo
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Wait, dammit. I'm older.
Nevermind...