Damn it!
It's been about two months since I wrote an entry.
I try for at least once a month.
Actually, that's sad enough. I used to try for once a week.
Okay, I have no idea whether this will be a classic epic-length entry or something almost managable. Let's see, shall we?
So last week my brother got married.
I met his wife last summer when they came for a visit.
She seems really nice, and he seems like a much nicer, calmer person now that he's with her.
It was a big wedding.
We went down for the rehearsal, followed by the rehearsal dinner for last Tuesday.
Then the wedding itself was on Friday afternoon, with a massive dinner that night.
There's a bit of culture shock involved with these events.
She comes from a huge, but close family.
I come from a small family that's not very close.
She has so many aunts, uncles, cousins, I couldn't keep everyone straight in my head.
Except for her cousins Kim and Tanya.
OMG!
(And there you have it folks, the first time I've ever used the text abbreviation of Oh My God, says something about the maturity level of my feelings I think).
Sadly, though they're both beautiful, Tanya especially, they're way too young.
From a few clues, I determined that Tanya is just 19.
Yikes!
I've always been attracted to younger women, but I'm getting slightly more mature about it, and realize that 19 is just ridiculously young for me.
Mid-twenties, no problem.
Speaking of ridiculous, though I didn't get to meet her, there was a family member's girlfriend attending.
Stunning. The kind of looks where you actually have to look away for fear that your eyes will fall out if you look too long.
Of course, turns out she's 19 too.
WTF?
(OMG, I'm using text talk again).
Anyways, it was a nice time overall, but I still don't know the vast majority of the people there.
The problem for me is saying hi.
Anyone who's met me must know that I have very little problem carrying on a conversation.
It's just saying hi that kills me.
If someone else says hi to me, then I can converse for ages.
It's saying hi that I just can't do.
Anyways, the whole wedding experience was nice.
I will admit that it took an extraordinary effort for me to not cry in the minutes before the ceremony started.
Seeing my brother in his tuxedo, with a look on his face like he's just won the lottery was great.
And when the limo pulled up just before the ceremony with the bride, well, I had to rush to the washroom to grab some toilet tissue in case my eyes exploded with tears.
I took some pictures, and I know that when they get back from their honeymoon in Thailand, they'll be going through all the photos that were taken by the hired photopgraphers.
Yes, plural.
I have no idea how much they spent, but they had two professional photographers for 12 hours!
If nothing else, it means I do know that there are a couple pictures with me in it.
Otherwise you might not realize I was even there.
But I was! Unlike my sister and her family. She couldn't be bothered attending.
Like I said, our family isn't exactly close.
The one sad aspect of the whole experience?
C'mon, if you know me, you can predict this!
Yes, that it simply served to remind of how horribly single I am, and that there seems no prospect of that changing anytime soon.
There were so many little kids at the wedding.
I want kids.
If I were a woman, I would have gone out and got myself pregnant years ago, and not even bothered worrying about a relationship.
Hrmm....
Do I whine a lot or just a bit here?
Okay, okay, I'll keep it short.
I'll just say that I'm 39, permanently unemployed, serious mental health problems, and I live in a small town in the middle of frigging nowhere. My prospects aren't great.
But if anyone knows a woman who would like to be truly happy and content for the rest of her life, well, that's not a problem - I can provide that.
Riches? Not unless I win the lottery. Excitement? HA!
But happiness? No problem.
An update on my health....
My doctor has reversed his own opinion and decided that maybe all the anti-depressants I was taking were the reason I was so tired.
Fuck you!! You couldn't have decided that when I first complained, instead making me go through a whole battery of tests and exams, only to find that I'm in perfect health.
Son of a bitch.
Sorry, I don't normally swear, but that really ticks me off.
Anyways, he's taken me off the Effexor and the Zoloft and put me on Wellbutrin, and I'm really feeling the effects.
Thankfully, unlike most people, I had zero withdrawal symptoms.
And I'm now feeling a bit better in terms of mood, and much better in terms of energy.
Of course, you know that God can't let me be happy for very long.
I'm having some pretty serious digestive problems that seem to be related to the gastric band I have for weight loss.
I won't go into the gross details, except to say it includes throwing up while I sleep.
Yay me!
I see my family doctor this week, and the bariatric surgeon next week in Toronto.
Thank God for medicare!
Two of my favourite Suicide Girls are having birthdays in a few days, so visit their pages and give them your good wishes.
Dusti is a wonderful woman who appeared out of nowhere a couple years and requested to add me as a friend. I have no idea where she found me, but I've always been glad that she did.
She's got a wonderfully contagious serenity about her.
And I've become great friends with her fiancee, Flit.
Okay, I REALLY like Flit, but oh well.
Temper? What the hell do I say about Temper?
I stumbled across her journal shortly after joining SG. She must have posted a message in a group or forum and I saw her profile picture and just about melted. I read her journal. If you think my entries are long, you haven't seen anything. The first entry I read took at least 30 minutes to read. It was a wonderful description of a trip she took the US (She's in Germany). I was hooked.
Started leaving comments for her, and what do you know? She actually commented back most of the time.
It wasn't until she had a new set up that I finally looked at her sets.
Holy crap! Beautiful. Can't say it any better than that.
Her hairstyle is what caught my initial attention, and it's unique hairstyles like that that brought me to SG in the first place.
(As bizarre as it sounds, I'm not a big fan of piercings or tattoos, though I really like some tattoos - an excellent example in fact is Dusti's chestpiece - how much more elegantly simple can you get?)
Anyways, Temper, I'll admit, is the only Suicide Girl I have ever had sexual fantasies about.
Her beauty, her intelligence, her wit all add up to some truly irresistable to me.
We've very slowly become 'friends', at least in a basic sense.
I'm hoping that by the time I die, we'll be actual friends.
Even though I realize we have pretty much nothing in common, and would never have encountered each other in any other way except for SG. Even if she lived down the street from me, I'm sure our paths would never cross otherwise.
And what the heck do you know? I'm done for now.
And it wasn't too long, was it?
Come on, you know damn well I could have made this a lot longer, between whining about being lonely and whining about being sick, this could have been epic length.
I have spared you that fate.
You may reward me now.
It's been about two months since I wrote an entry.
I try for at least once a month.
Actually, that's sad enough. I used to try for once a week.
Okay, I have no idea whether this will be a classic epic-length entry or something almost managable. Let's see, shall we?
So last week my brother got married.
I met his wife last summer when they came for a visit.
She seems really nice, and he seems like a much nicer, calmer person now that he's with her.
It was a big wedding.
We went down for the rehearsal, followed by the rehearsal dinner for last Tuesday.
Then the wedding itself was on Friday afternoon, with a massive dinner that night.
There's a bit of culture shock involved with these events.
She comes from a huge, but close family.
I come from a small family that's not very close.
She has so many aunts, uncles, cousins, I couldn't keep everyone straight in my head.
Except for her cousins Kim and Tanya.
OMG!
(And there you have it folks, the first time I've ever used the text abbreviation of Oh My God, says something about the maturity level of my feelings I think).
Sadly, though they're both beautiful, Tanya especially, they're way too young.
From a few clues, I determined that Tanya is just 19.
Yikes!
I've always been attracted to younger women, but I'm getting slightly more mature about it, and realize that 19 is just ridiculously young for me.
Mid-twenties, no problem.
Speaking of ridiculous, though I didn't get to meet her, there was a family member's girlfriend attending.
Stunning. The kind of looks where you actually have to look away for fear that your eyes will fall out if you look too long.
Of course, turns out she's 19 too.
WTF?
(OMG, I'm using text talk again).
Anyways, it was a nice time overall, but I still don't know the vast majority of the people there.
The problem for me is saying hi.
Anyone who's met me must know that I have very little problem carrying on a conversation.
It's just saying hi that kills me.
If someone else says hi to me, then I can converse for ages.
It's saying hi that I just can't do.
Anyways, the whole wedding experience was nice.
I will admit that it took an extraordinary effort for me to not cry in the minutes before the ceremony started.
Seeing my brother in his tuxedo, with a look on his face like he's just won the lottery was great.
And when the limo pulled up just before the ceremony with the bride, well, I had to rush to the washroom to grab some toilet tissue in case my eyes exploded with tears.
I took some pictures, and I know that when they get back from their honeymoon in Thailand, they'll be going through all the photos that were taken by the hired photopgraphers.
Yes, plural.
I have no idea how much they spent, but they had two professional photographers for 12 hours!
If nothing else, it means I do know that there are a couple pictures with me in it.
Otherwise you might not realize I was even there.
But I was! Unlike my sister and her family. She couldn't be bothered attending.
Like I said, our family isn't exactly close.
The one sad aspect of the whole experience?
C'mon, if you know me, you can predict this!
Yes, that it simply served to remind of how horribly single I am, and that there seems no prospect of that changing anytime soon.
There were so many little kids at the wedding.
I want kids.
If I were a woman, I would have gone out and got myself pregnant years ago, and not even bothered worrying about a relationship.
Hrmm....
Do I whine a lot or just a bit here?
Okay, okay, I'll keep it short.
I'll just say that I'm 39, permanently unemployed, serious mental health problems, and I live in a small town in the middle of frigging nowhere. My prospects aren't great.
But if anyone knows a woman who would like to be truly happy and content for the rest of her life, well, that's not a problem - I can provide that.
Riches? Not unless I win the lottery. Excitement? HA!
But happiness? No problem.
An update on my health....
My doctor has reversed his own opinion and decided that maybe all the anti-depressants I was taking were the reason I was so tired.
Fuck you!! You couldn't have decided that when I first complained, instead making me go through a whole battery of tests and exams, only to find that I'm in perfect health.
Son of a bitch.
Sorry, I don't normally swear, but that really ticks me off.
Anyways, he's taken me off the Effexor and the Zoloft and put me on Wellbutrin, and I'm really feeling the effects.
Thankfully, unlike most people, I had zero withdrawal symptoms.
And I'm now feeling a bit better in terms of mood, and much better in terms of energy.
Of course, you know that God can't let me be happy for very long.
I'm having some pretty serious digestive problems that seem to be related to the gastric band I have for weight loss.
I won't go into the gross details, except to say it includes throwing up while I sleep.
Yay me!
I see my family doctor this week, and the bariatric surgeon next week in Toronto.
Thank God for medicare!
Two of my favourite Suicide Girls are having birthdays in a few days, so visit their pages and give them your good wishes.
Dusti is a wonderful woman who appeared out of nowhere a couple years and requested to add me as a friend. I have no idea where she found me, but I've always been glad that she did.
She's got a wonderfully contagious serenity about her.
And I've become great friends with her fiancee, Flit.
Okay, I REALLY like Flit, but oh well.
Temper? What the hell do I say about Temper?
I stumbled across her journal shortly after joining SG. She must have posted a message in a group or forum and I saw her profile picture and just about melted. I read her journal. If you think my entries are long, you haven't seen anything. The first entry I read took at least 30 minutes to read. It was a wonderful description of a trip she took the US (She's in Germany). I was hooked.
Started leaving comments for her, and what do you know? She actually commented back most of the time.
It wasn't until she had a new set up that I finally looked at her sets.
Holy crap! Beautiful. Can't say it any better than that.
Her hairstyle is what caught my initial attention, and it's unique hairstyles like that that brought me to SG in the first place.
(As bizarre as it sounds, I'm not a big fan of piercings or tattoos, though I really like some tattoos - an excellent example in fact is Dusti's chestpiece - how much more elegantly simple can you get?)
Anyways, Temper, I'll admit, is the only Suicide Girl I have ever had sexual fantasies about.
Her beauty, her intelligence, her wit all add up to some truly irresistable to me.
We've very slowly become 'friends', at least in a basic sense.
I'm hoping that by the time I die, we'll be actual friends.
Even though I realize we have pretty much nothing in common, and would never have encountered each other in any other way except for SG. Even if she lived down the street from me, I'm sure our paths would never cross otherwise.
And what the heck do you know? I'm done for now.
And it wasn't too long, was it?
Come on, you know damn well I could have made this a lot longer, between whining about being lonely and whining about being sick, this could have been epic length.
I have spared you that fate.
You may reward me now.
VIEW 18 of 18 COMMENTS
And I would never cut you - so don't worry