Last night was the annual SuicideGirls gala in Toronto, so of course that means it's time for my annual post-gala report.
My third annual, in fact.
As I've mentioned to a few people, a week ago I was having doubts about attending. Between my low energy levels and a low mood, I was debating it. But I talked myself into it. I know my depression quite well, and I know that it can try to con me out of doing something fun in order to maintain control over me. And I'm getting really tired of it ruining my life.
Plus, I know that if I skipped the gala, I would become even more depressed, and spend the next year kicking myself for not going.
I realize that this may be a reflection of how little I do in life, but the gala really has been just about the most fun I've had each year I've attended.
So I spent a few days psyching myself up to go. Even though I knew some of the people who would be going, I also know that most of the people would be strangers, and I get very anxious in large social gatherings with lots of strangers.
This year, just to add to the push I try to give myself when it comes to socializing, I decided I would also attend the pre-gala dinner.
I got up bright and early Saturday morning, having had little sleep because I was nervous, and set off on the seven-hour drive to Toronto. Checked into the least expensive hotel I could find in the GTA (all the way up in Richmond Hill). Had a brief nap, and then got ready.
It took forever (okay, about 90 minutes) to get from my hotel to Bathurst and Bloor.
Parked, and then walked the short distance to the restaurant, getting there about 20 minutes early.
On a sweltering hot Saturday evening, a guy in a suit stands out at Bloor and Spadina.
While loitering on the sidewalk, a couple stopped in front of the restaurant for a moment, then went in.
Now, they looked as though they were stopping and wondering if they should go in, and I kind of thought that maybe they were with SG, but I'm terribly nervous about speaking to strangers, so I continued loitering.
A few minutes later, I looked up the street and saw someone I recognized - Lydia.
Lydia is actually the second person I ever met from SG, and the first SuicideGirl. It was at the first gala I attended two years.
But me, always horrible at recognizing faces, had no clue who she was even after she introduced herself to me. I blame the fact that she didn't look anything like her profile picture at the time.
I was so relieved that I recognized her this time.
You know, she and elscorcho come to Toronto from St. John's, just so they can attend the gala. How's that for committment?
Anyways, the three of us went in, and met up with connielingus and Bill_the_Cat, the couple I saw go in earlier.
We were soon followed by AandP, radiofrank, and his sister, Laura.
Soon, more people showed.
And more.
And even some some.
I was seated between Bill_the_Cat and Mneylu.
I've seen Mneylu around SG, but had never talked to her.
Sadly, being chronically unable to actually start conversations, I only barely spoke to her.
She seems really nice (and very beautiful), but don't ask me how to say her name. She told us, a few times, but it's a lost cause for me.
I barely spoke to Bill_the_Cat for most of the dinner. Thankfully, he was able to start a conversation with me, and we were able to talk.
Despite nametags, I have little idea who else was there. It's hard to meet people when you're sitting down at a table.
I did notice a woman whose nametag said Katie.
I have no idea who you are, but wow!
Dinner, at Crystal Rolls by the way, was very good.
Until the bills arrived.
There were at least 20 of us, and they only did 3 bills.
And there were 10 of us at our table.
And they accidentally put some things from our table on a different bill.
Chaos ensued.
AandP, radiofrank, Laura and I went to the club.
Yes, I tagged along because I had nothing better to do. I wasn't staying in the area, and besides, as with last year's gala, I enjoy helping.
Hope that AandP and radiofrank didn't mind too much.
I met AandP last year, but barely spoke to her. Thankfully, with her having sat across from me at dinner, I managed to say more than just hi this year.
radiofrank and I worked at the door, giving out nametags and door prize tickets.
I was worried for awhile, because no one was showing up.
Thankfully, I guess most people decided to be fashionably late because lots of people did show up.
I met a bunch of people I've met in the past, and a few I hadn't met before, and a whole bunch I didn't really meet, except that I read their nametags.
_LouLou_ and Slingshot both said hi as I had asked them to.
It took me a moment to actually recognize either of them.
Cottser greeted me warmly. He's such a nice guy - shame he isn't around here too much.
One person took me by complete surprise. Lisseth gave me an amazing compliment for having lost weight since she last saw me.
And to think, I thought she was barely aware of my existance.
People I didn't actually speak to, but who stood out to me:
Valdis - I spoke to her briefly last year. I should have thanked her again for adding her business card to my collection. Very kind of her, especially since it's a great card. And she's beautiful.
Nicoletta. Holy crap! Absolutely stunning!
Rubix. So pretty.
Agy. Wonderful.
Obviously, there were more, but my head can only hold so many names.
Okay. Enough of people I don't have the nerve to speak to.
I did actually socialize.
BrightRedScream is always amazing.
As is her husband SixBoxes.
He brought me a whole bunch of business cards, mostly tattoo artists (highly coveted among collectors).
How thoughtful is that? THANK YOU!!
Dusti is a sweetheart.
I think she knows I'm uncomfortable with lots of people around, and she managed to make me feel comfortable several times through the evening.
Flit.
I don't know what to say about Flit.
All the positive adjectives I've used to describe others, apply them all to her.
Just don't tell Dusti. As serene as she seems, I don't want her upset that I'm really into her fiancee.
I will say that Flit is a joy to be around at a party.
Makes me smile.
They had a couple friends, one of whom I was introduced to, and of course, she had a long, two-word name, that my brain can't seem to retrieve. She was with another woman, also really cute, whose name I'm fuzzy about.
Ahh - wait. Using the strangely inaccurate member search 'feature', I found BDeyeD. I remembered it was something like that.
I almost met a couple more of their friends - Luscious and Shazzy. Maybe next year.
Oh, and I have to thank 2low and King_Mob for joining with Flit in some very impressive dance routines.
Quite entertaining.
Also to DeadSeeds - nice to have met you!
Tekky is always so beautiful. Wish I knew her better.
ATTENTION!!!!
I don't know who you are. If anyone knows, please tell me.
To the woman who kept trying to make me dance, even using force, ummm.... Hi!
Sorry, dancing and singing are two things I'd rather not do. So, please, if you ever see me at karaoke, don't try to make me sing.
It won't happen.
But thanks for making the supreme effort in trying to get me to dance. It was fun.
And thank you for getting one of your friends to give me a brief lap dance as part of your effort.
Who is she?
So, yes, if you know who this woman is, tell me. I need to make sure I say hi to her.
Martini. Someday I will think of something beyond hi to say to you. We have so many mutual friends here, and yet we don't know each other. Heck, my Facebook page keeps telling me we're supposed to be friends.
Okay, there were a lot of people there. I didn't meet most of them.
And some of them go unnamed here, simply because I don't know who they are.
People - use the nametags.
That way, sad people like me can make a mental note of who you are, and then bookmark your blog for later.
Doesn't that sound fun??
Also, as I said earlier, my brain has limited storage capacity when it comes to names, so if we did talk, or nod hello, or whatever, I apologize for not naming you.
It's a shame that a few people who had wanted to go weren't able to.
I missed seeing gigantic. She's always been so nice to me. As silly as it sounds, I think of her being like a little sister. I feel very protective of her. She's very sad that she wasn't able to get time off work, and that makes me sad too.
Malice was a last minute cancellation. That's a shame. As I said in last year's gala review, she's one of the most beautiful women I have ever had the good fortune to meet. I'm not sure I should have blurted that out to her at the gala last year. I think she's very nice for tolerating me.
Adair currently has trouble walking, so couldn't make it. She's been one of the highlights for me of the first two galas.
Lastly (yes, he's wrapping up! YAY!), someone was going to come as my guest this year.
Oryx used to be on the site, but left a couple years ago.
We used to talk sometimes on SG, and as some of you may know, I had/have a huge crush on her.
But we've never met.
That's why I call it a crush. It's this strong attraction that can't completely be explained. I barely know her.
When she left SG, I was sure I'd never speak to her again. It was actually really sad.
Then, out of the blue, she friended me on Facebook.
I still have no idea how she found me, or why she friended me.
But I was elated.
We've exchanged comments many times, and I've looked at, and admire, all the photographs she takes.
When I changed my Facebook status to say that I was psyching myself up to go to the gala, she commented that she wished she could go.
So I invited her and her boyfriend to be my guests.
I was excited that I would finally meet her.
Even though I didn't tell people she was coming, somehow people knew, and were asking if it was true that she was coming.
So hey, I wasn't the only one excited about seeing her.
I don't know what happened, but she didn't show up. She didn't call my cell (mind you, it's a long-distance call).
I haven't heard from her, so I don't know why she wasn't there.
The gala two years ago was the first SG event I attended. I was still new to the site.
As I've said, I'm uncomfortable around large groups of strangers, so that first gala was friggin terrifying.
But I wanted so badly to meet Oryx.
Obviously I didn't.
The worst part was that when I got home the next night and wrote my review, she commented on it (the first time she spoke to me) and said that she had been there!
How lame am I?? To this day, I have no idea what God I offended, that they would have made her invisible to me that night.
A month or two later, I again made the trip to Toronto, to karaoke, in the hopes of meeting her.
How was I to know that she had stopped going?
Blah!
Anyways, although I had a lot of fun seeing old friends and meeting some new people, the gala is tinged with some sadness in not meeting the person I most wanted to meet.
My third annual, in fact.
As I've mentioned to a few people, a week ago I was having doubts about attending. Between my low energy levels and a low mood, I was debating it. But I talked myself into it. I know my depression quite well, and I know that it can try to con me out of doing something fun in order to maintain control over me. And I'm getting really tired of it ruining my life.
Plus, I know that if I skipped the gala, I would become even more depressed, and spend the next year kicking myself for not going.
I realize that this may be a reflection of how little I do in life, but the gala really has been just about the most fun I've had each year I've attended.
So I spent a few days psyching myself up to go. Even though I knew some of the people who would be going, I also know that most of the people would be strangers, and I get very anxious in large social gatherings with lots of strangers.
This year, just to add to the push I try to give myself when it comes to socializing, I decided I would also attend the pre-gala dinner.
I got up bright and early Saturday morning, having had little sleep because I was nervous, and set off on the seven-hour drive to Toronto. Checked into the least expensive hotel I could find in the GTA (all the way up in Richmond Hill). Had a brief nap, and then got ready.
It took forever (okay, about 90 minutes) to get from my hotel to Bathurst and Bloor.
Parked, and then walked the short distance to the restaurant, getting there about 20 minutes early.
On a sweltering hot Saturday evening, a guy in a suit stands out at Bloor and Spadina.
While loitering on the sidewalk, a couple stopped in front of the restaurant for a moment, then went in.
Now, they looked as though they were stopping and wondering if they should go in, and I kind of thought that maybe they were with SG, but I'm terribly nervous about speaking to strangers, so I continued loitering.
A few minutes later, I looked up the street and saw someone I recognized - Lydia.
Lydia is actually the second person I ever met from SG, and the first SuicideGirl. It was at the first gala I attended two years.
But me, always horrible at recognizing faces, had no clue who she was even after she introduced herself to me. I blame the fact that she didn't look anything like her profile picture at the time.
I was so relieved that I recognized her this time.
You know, she and elscorcho come to Toronto from St. John's, just so they can attend the gala. How's that for committment?
Anyways, the three of us went in, and met up with connielingus and Bill_the_Cat, the couple I saw go in earlier.
We were soon followed by AandP, radiofrank, and his sister, Laura.
Soon, more people showed.
And more.
And even some some.
I was seated between Bill_the_Cat and Mneylu.
I've seen Mneylu around SG, but had never talked to her.
Sadly, being chronically unable to actually start conversations, I only barely spoke to her.
She seems really nice (and very beautiful), but don't ask me how to say her name. She told us, a few times, but it's a lost cause for me.
I barely spoke to Bill_the_Cat for most of the dinner. Thankfully, he was able to start a conversation with me, and we were able to talk.
Despite nametags, I have little idea who else was there. It's hard to meet people when you're sitting down at a table.
I did notice a woman whose nametag said Katie.
I have no idea who you are, but wow!
Dinner, at Crystal Rolls by the way, was very good.
Until the bills arrived.
There were at least 20 of us, and they only did 3 bills.
And there were 10 of us at our table.
And they accidentally put some things from our table on a different bill.
Chaos ensued.
AandP, radiofrank, Laura and I went to the club.
Yes, I tagged along because I had nothing better to do. I wasn't staying in the area, and besides, as with last year's gala, I enjoy helping.
Hope that AandP and radiofrank didn't mind too much.
I met AandP last year, but barely spoke to her. Thankfully, with her having sat across from me at dinner, I managed to say more than just hi this year.
radiofrank and I worked at the door, giving out nametags and door prize tickets.
I was worried for awhile, because no one was showing up.
Thankfully, I guess most people decided to be fashionably late because lots of people did show up.
I met a bunch of people I've met in the past, and a few I hadn't met before, and a whole bunch I didn't really meet, except that I read their nametags.
_LouLou_ and Slingshot both said hi as I had asked them to.
It took me a moment to actually recognize either of them.
Cottser greeted me warmly. He's such a nice guy - shame he isn't around here too much.
One person took me by complete surprise. Lisseth gave me an amazing compliment for having lost weight since she last saw me.
And to think, I thought she was barely aware of my existance.
People I didn't actually speak to, but who stood out to me:
Valdis - I spoke to her briefly last year. I should have thanked her again for adding her business card to my collection. Very kind of her, especially since it's a great card. And she's beautiful.
Nicoletta. Holy crap! Absolutely stunning!
Rubix. So pretty.
Agy. Wonderful.
Obviously, there were more, but my head can only hold so many names.
Okay. Enough of people I don't have the nerve to speak to.
I did actually socialize.
BrightRedScream is always amazing.
As is her husband SixBoxes.
He brought me a whole bunch of business cards, mostly tattoo artists (highly coveted among collectors).
How thoughtful is that? THANK YOU!!
Dusti is a sweetheart.
I think she knows I'm uncomfortable with lots of people around, and she managed to make me feel comfortable several times through the evening.
Flit.
I don't know what to say about Flit.
All the positive adjectives I've used to describe others, apply them all to her.
Just don't tell Dusti. As serene as she seems, I don't want her upset that I'm really into her fiancee.
I will say that Flit is a joy to be around at a party.
Makes me smile.
They had a couple friends, one of whom I was introduced to, and of course, she had a long, two-word name, that my brain can't seem to retrieve. She was with another woman, also really cute, whose name I'm fuzzy about.
Ahh - wait. Using the strangely inaccurate member search 'feature', I found BDeyeD. I remembered it was something like that.
I almost met a couple more of their friends - Luscious and Shazzy. Maybe next year.
Oh, and I have to thank 2low and King_Mob for joining with Flit in some very impressive dance routines.
Quite entertaining.
Also to DeadSeeds - nice to have met you!
Tekky is always so beautiful. Wish I knew her better.
ATTENTION!!!!
I don't know who you are. If anyone knows, please tell me.
To the woman who kept trying to make me dance, even using force, ummm.... Hi!
Sorry, dancing and singing are two things I'd rather not do. So, please, if you ever see me at karaoke, don't try to make me sing.
It won't happen.
But thanks for making the supreme effort in trying to get me to dance. It was fun.
And thank you for getting one of your friends to give me a brief lap dance as part of your effort.
Who is she?
So, yes, if you know who this woman is, tell me. I need to make sure I say hi to her.
Martini. Someday I will think of something beyond hi to say to you. We have so many mutual friends here, and yet we don't know each other. Heck, my Facebook page keeps telling me we're supposed to be friends.
Okay, there were a lot of people there. I didn't meet most of them.
And some of them go unnamed here, simply because I don't know who they are.
People - use the nametags.
That way, sad people like me can make a mental note of who you are, and then bookmark your blog for later.
Doesn't that sound fun??
Also, as I said earlier, my brain has limited storage capacity when it comes to names, so if we did talk, or nod hello, or whatever, I apologize for not naming you.
It's a shame that a few people who had wanted to go weren't able to.
I missed seeing gigantic. She's always been so nice to me. As silly as it sounds, I think of her being like a little sister. I feel very protective of her. She's very sad that she wasn't able to get time off work, and that makes me sad too.
Malice was a last minute cancellation. That's a shame. As I said in last year's gala review, she's one of the most beautiful women I have ever had the good fortune to meet. I'm not sure I should have blurted that out to her at the gala last year. I think she's very nice for tolerating me.
Adair currently has trouble walking, so couldn't make it. She's been one of the highlights for me of the first two galas.
Lastly (yes, he's wrapping up! YAY!), someone was going to come as my guest this year.
Oryx used to be on the site, but left a couple years ago.
We used to talk sometimes on SG, and as some of you may know, I had/have a huge crush on her.
But we've never met.
That's why I call it a crush. It's this strong attraction that can't completely be explained. I barely know her.
When she left SG, I was sure I'd never speak to her again. It was actually really sad.
Then, out of the blue, she friended me on Facebook.
I still have no idea how she found me, or why she friended me.
But I was elated.
We've exchanged comments many times, and I've looked at, and admire, all the photographs she takes.
When I changed my Facebook status to say that I was psyching myself up to go to the gala, she commented that she wished she could go.
So I invited her and her boyfriend to be my guests.
I was excited that I would finally meet her.
Even though I didn't tell people she was coming, somehow people knew, and were asking if it was true that she was coming.
So hey, I wasn't the only one excited about seeing her.
I don't know what happened, but she didn't show up. She didn't call my cell (mind you, it's a long-distance call).
I haven't heard from her, so I don't know why she wasn't there.
The gala two years ago was the first SG event I attended. I was still new to the site.
As I've said, I'm uncomfortable around large groups of strangers, so that first gala was friggin terrifying.
But I wanted so badly to meet Oryx.
Obviously I didn't.
The worst part was that when I got home the next night and wrote my review, she commented on it (the first time she spoke to me) and said that she had been there!
How lame am I?? To this day, I have no idea what God I offended, that they would have made her invisible to me that night.
A month or two later, I again made the trip to Toronto, to karaoke, in the hopes of meeting her.
How was I to know that she had stopped going?
Blah!
Anyways, although I had a lot of fun seeing old friends and meeting some new people, the gala is tinged with some sadness in not meeting the person I most wanted to meet.
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