I stumbled onto a group for people with no friends. Nice to know there are other people like me.
I know I can be difficult about who I'm friends with.
First, for a person with almost no friends, and wanting more, I'm actually very picky. I don't want a friend simply so I can say to myself, 'yay, i have a friend'.
A friend should be someone you're emotionally intimate with. And I know that drives people away.
I ask lots of questions, both biographical - where'd you go to school, and emotional - if you ever need to talk about what your creepy uncle did....
I know that I can be intense. I don't expect someone to instantly answer every question I ask (if they did, we'd have to get married), but I hope they get comfortable enough with me to answer most of the questions, and share, well, share themselves with me.
I need to learn that for almost everybody, that's just too much to ask.
Well, you've been warned.
I know I can be difficult about who I'm friends with.
First, for a person with almost no friends, and wanting more, I'm actually very picky. I don't want a friend simply so I can say to myself, 'yay, i have a friend'.
A friend should be someone you're emotionally intimate with. And I know that drives people away.
I ask lots of questions, both biographical - where'd you go to school, and emotional - if you ever need to talk about what your creepy uncle did....
I know that I can be intense. I don't expect someone to instantly answer every question I ask (if they did, we'd have to get married), but I hope they get comfortable enough with me to answer most of the questions, and share, well, share themselves with me.
I need to learn that for almost everybody, that's just too much to ask.
Well, you've been warned.
Maybe it would scare some people off, but I bet those are the people who collect friends like stuffed animals - it's all about the "possession" or appearances, and not about what you said was important to you: emotional intimacy.
Frankly, I am always overjoyed when people ask me personal questions. Maybe I'm not totally comfortable answering them all in detail right away, but I'm totally comfortable being asked. It shows that the person is actually intereted in me for me. There have been too many times when someone has asked, by rote, "How was your day?", and then I give them a brief outline of some horrific thing that happened, and they don't ask a single follow-up question, as if knowing about my problems is something they just don't want to deal with.
Who needs friends like those?