Online Dating Part 1
I have decided to dive head first into the world of online dating. While it is true I have returned home after three years in LA, I feel as if I am a new face in a new town. Things have changed and I need someone to feel me around the town a little, and just feel me in general.
The problem I am faced with is the ludicrous nature of the online portfolio. Describe yourself, in 4000 characters. Four thousand characters!!!! I can't even give an accurate description of myself in 4000 words, let alone letters. And that is followed by asking me who I want to meet by using the tried and true method of filling in bubbles. I learned long ago that that is not the way to determine life's choices. I took Job-o in high school and according to those bubbles I should be a cop or a guidance counselor. Instead, I'm sitting in a diner writing this, and I am fine with that.
As for matching me with my life mate, I approach the process with a skeptical romanticism. I really want it to work, so far I have found some fun people. And I have sent out winks and emails, and in return I have nothing. My 4000 characters must not have been that impressive. And I think I know why.
The portrait that I put online, has to be approved.
Now, I can understand that approving pictures, you need to make sure that you can actually see the person, and that they are fully clothed (Craigslist could learn a thing from that one). But for me to have to get someone else's approval to describe who I am, is ridiculous. And automatically promotes dishonesty.
Those who really know me will know that I have a tendency to swear. I don't say fuck for the hell of it, but I realize as a writer that there the sometimes the point is made very clear with a well placed F-bomb (trust me the word will get a good workout in a later section of this blog). The point is, how can I describe myself if I can't do it in a manner that is true to me. The whole thing is just fucking frustrating.
What follows here is the profile I could not put up on the website. It is longer than 4000 words, a lot longer. And I hope to illustrate why a website can not find me a perfect match.
The blog itself will be a seven part series. Relax this is the first one. But in the remainder of the time I will try to explain what I want on the four fronts of a relationship.
The first front is Physical. This is easiest and most pointless to do with bubbles. What do I physically want to see in a partner?
The second front is Financial. What do I want my partner to do? For a livingyou perverts, don't jump the gun.
The third front is the intellectual front. Probably one of the most important for me and one of the most difficult to explain.
Finally, the Sexual front this is the most fun, and can be the most frustrating. For me it requires something very specific, and no I am not talking about that putting the condom on with your mouth trick. There is a very certain think that I need any suitor to understand, and I will explain that one in detail later.
All of this will lead up to the description of the intimate emotional life mate that I am looking for. That emotional connection that Dr Phil promises he can give me, or I get six months free, yay!!!
I'll see you in a couple of days with part twoThe Physical.
I have decided to dive head first into the world of online dating. While it is true I have returned home after three years in LA, I feel as if I am a new face in a new town. Things have changed and I need someone to feel me around the town a little, and just feel me in general.
The problem I am faced with is the ludicrous nature of the online portfolio. Describe yourself, in 4000 characters. Four thousand characters!!!! I can't even give an accurate description of myself in 4000 words, let alone letters. And that is followed by asking me who I want to meet by using the tried and true method of filling in bubbles. I learned long ago that that is not the way to determine life's choices. I took Job-o in high school and according to those bubbles I should be a cop or a guidance counselor. Instead, I'm sitting in a diner writing this, and I am fine with that.
As for matching me with my life mate, I approach the process with a skeptical romanticism. I really want it to work, so far I have found some fun people. And I have sent out winks and emails, and in return I have nothing. My 4000 characters must not have been that impressive. And I think I know why.
The portrait that I put online, has to be approved.
Now, I can understand that approving pictures, you need to make sure that you can actually see the person, and that they are fully clothed (Craigslist could learn a thing from that one). But for me to have to get someone else's approval to describe who I am, is ridiculous. And automatically promotes dishonesty.
Those who really know me will know that I have a tendency to swear. I don't say fuck for the hell of it, but I realize as a writer that there the sometimes the point is made very clear with a well placed F-bomb (trust me the word will get a good workout in a later section of this blog). The point is, how can I describe myself if I can't do it in a manner that is true to me. The whole thing is just fucking frustrating.
What follows here is the profile I could not put up on the website. It is longer than 4000 words, a lot longer. And I hope to illustrate why a website can not find me a perfect match.
The blog itself will be a seven part series. Relax this is the first one. But in the remainder of the time I will try to explain what I want on the four fronts of a relationship.
The first front is Physical. This is easiest and most pointless to do with bubbles. What do I physically want to see in a partner?
The second front is Financial. What do I want my partner to do? For a livingyou perverts, don't jump the gun.
The third front is the intellectual front. Probably one of the most important for me and one of the most difficult to explain.
Finally, the Sexual front this is the most fun, and can be the most frustrating. For me it requires something very specific, and no I am not talking about that putting the condom on with your mouth trick. There is a very certain think that I need any suitor to understand, and I will explain that one in detail later.
All of this will lead up to the description of the intimate emotional life mate that I am looking for. That emotional connection that Dr Phil promises he can give me, or I get six months free, yay!!!
I'll see you in a couple of days with part twoThe Physical.