Bad movies rule!
Sci Fi has an awesome lineup of original shitty flops. I love them all. Like "S.S. Doomtrooper" about a a mutated Nazi super soldier that is bent on destroying the Allied forces in World War II. Or "Anonymous Rex" about a velociraptor private investigator and a triceratops private investigator who are a part of a secret society of dinosaurs that look like humans. Or how about "KAW", a movie about a surly bunch of ravens that attack a small town. (I liked this one when it was called The Birds.)
Im watching "Knights of the Blood Steel." Its a riveting medieval drama. Its rivetingly sucky. Its like Full House with swords. Sorta, but no Dave Coulier or John Stamos.
The acting is terrific.
Why do some people in this movie have British accents? Elves are British? Why cant an elf ever be from Weehawken, New Jersey or Bum Fuck, NY? Why does one guy have an Irish accent? Why is the girl they found in the meadow drifting between a British, Irish and American accent? And why does everyone in this film conjugate and enunciate with retarded precision? IT IS I! YOU DO NOT KNOW OF THE POWER that lies in the oracle! IT IS WE who shall overcome the dark lords reach and ascend to the heavens beyond Arendell!
Shit, no one contracts their words in this film! Hey, look, its an oracle! Youll love this, Serragoth! Theres an amulet over here! Is that a motha fuckin dragon over there?
I used to think good acting was the mix of yelling and whispering. I was wrong. Its about enunciation.
Ofcourse, the journey is a rich one for the noble band of kingdom savers. They travel to the valley of the last stand led by the oracle, ofcourse. (The oracle sounds like a poor mans James Earl Jones.) And in his deep cartoony voice, he points to a rock with etchings and says something like Here lie the markings of the last warrior of the Kingdom of the white dragon. And I'm thinking: What if that was just a rebellious local knight who likes to graffiti tag everything? The art on that rock doesnt look that romantically important to me.
Wow, the shredded paper faced super-villian just called one of our heroes a guileless slow witted goblin. Snap! Thats the kind of evil were talking about!!!! Its the kind of evil a teenage girl might encounter between 3rd and 4th period. Lord Ber-Lak called me a fatty again today. Hes so cute, but he can be such a bitch. See if I talk to him tomorrow. I wont. I swear I wont.
Sci Fi has an awesome lineup of original shitty flops. I love them all. Like "S.S. Doomtrooper" about a a mutated Nazi super soldier that is bent on destroying the Allied forces in World War II. Or "Anonymous Rex" about a velociraptor private investigator and a triceratops private investigator who are a part of a secret society of dinosaurs that look like humans. Or how about "KAW", a movie about a surly bunch of ravens that attack a small town. (I liked this one when it was called The Birds.)
Im watching "Knights of the Blood Steel." Its a riveting medieval drama. Its rivetingly sucky. Its like Full House with swords. Sorta, but no Dave Coulier or John Stamos.
The acting is terrific.
Why do some people in this movie have British accents? Elves are British? Why cant an elf ever be from Weehawken, New Jersey or Bum Fuck, NY? Why does one guy have an Irish accent? Why is the girl they found in the meadow drifting between a British, Irish and American accent? And why does everyone in this film conjugate and enunciate with retarded precision? IT IS I! YOU DO NOT KNOW OF THE POWER that lies in the oracle! IT IS WE who shall overcome the dark lords reach and ascend to the heavens beyond Arendell!
Shit, no one contracts their words in this film! Hey, look, its an oracle! Youll love this, Serragoth! Theres an amulet over here! Is that a motha fuckin dragon over there?
I used to think good acting was the mix of yelling and whispering. I was wrong. Its about enunciation.
Ofcourse, the journey is a rich one for the noble band of kingdom savers. They travel to the valley of the last stand led by the oracle, ofcourse. (The oracle sounds like a poor mans James Earl Jones.) And in his deep cartoony voice, he points to a rock with etchings and says something like Here lie the markings of the last warrior of the Kingdom of the white dragon. And I'm thinking: What if that was just a rebellious local knight who likes to graffiti tag everything? The art on that rock doesnt look that romantically important to me.
Wow, the shredded paper faced super-villian just called one of our heroes a guileless slow witted goblin. Snap! Thats the kind of evil were talking about!!!! Its the kind of evil a teenage girl might encounter between 3rd and 4th period. Lord Ber-Lak called me a fatty again today. Hes so cute, but he can be such a bitch. See if I talk to him tomorrow. I wont. I swear I wont.