Four major snow accumulations in two weeks? This would be a horrible time to be quitting cocaine. 
Does Andrew Zimmern throw up when he eats grilled cheese?
I wanna write and sell a book. But I want to cover the front and back in crazy glue and market it as "a book you won't be able to put down."
Before I tell people ghost stories, I like to tell them that I believe in unicorns.
When Chuck Woolery had bad diarrhea, do you think he ever said to his wife "I'll be back in two and two?"