The past 24 hours has been stressful.
Last night I received a text from an unknown number. When I opened it it was my friend's friend to text me that our mutual friend had attempted suicide and is now in the ER. Apparently she was worse than she was letting everyone know. I knew she was pretty bad and she didn't want any help so I had to excuse myself from our friendship earlier this summer. Last week she sent me a text saying she missed me in her life and that she missed talking to me and could really use a friend right now. Come to find out she is still doing Coricidin which is a cold medicine that doesn't raise blood pressure. Apparently when if you take a box or two at a time you get a high off of it. Her legs are cut from knee to hip...just shredded. And to top it all off, she is hearing voices in her head telling her to kill herself and that things won't be better until she is dead. She was released to go home so I went to visit her today...she looked like hell. She informed me it's the first day in 2 weeks that she has been completely sober. She was telling me about her night and everything. Told me how she posted her drama on facebook. I care for her and don't want anything to happen but she needs help. I have to look out for the best interest of my family and unless she seeks and continues help I can no longer have her in my life. I know that sounds harsh but I can't have a drug and alcohol abuser in my life and around my kids. Also, her and her boyfriend broke up 3 years ago and she said that is the main reason why she is so depressed because she is lonely. It's been 3 years she needs to pick up what self respect she has left and move forward, because he isn't coming back.
Then tonight I was making cupcakes for my son's birthday party tomorrow and our house phone rings. It was a guy my dad works with calling to let him know my brother was trashed at a boy 20 minutes away. On his motorcycle. So my dad and my sister get in the car to go get his ass. Half hour later my sister comes storming through the front door crying. Turns out that my brother told her he was going to blow his fucking head off with his gun. Which brings me to the next point...he owns a gun, in fact he owns 4 guns. I don't like that whatsoever, I have a 4 year old and we don't have a safe or gun case. It's not okay and it just so happens that everyone in the house knew about it except for me. So here he is stupid fucking drunk and talking about blowing his head off, just yelling. Nearly getting in a fist fight with my dad on our front lawn, my mom yelling at them to stop. Our family looked real classy tonight. Then entire time I was just thanking the Lord that my boys were at their dad's house this night. It is not okay for my brother to be coming home talking about killing himself and raising hell when I have a 4 and 1 year old. I bend over backwards every fucking day to make sure my boys are in a good environment and get everything they need....and this is not the type of household they will grow up in. So either my brother needs to grow the fuck up and act his age or I will be finding a way out of my house, even if I don't have a penny to my name day after day.
I'm just so tired of all the bullshit.
Last night I received a text from an unknown number. When I opened it it was my friend's friend to text me that our mutual friend had attempted suicide and is now in the ER. Apparently she was worse than she was letting everyone know. I knew she was pretty bad and she didn't want any help so I had to excuse myself from our friendship earlier this summer. Last week she sent me a text saying she missed me in her life and that she missed talking to me and could really use a friend right now. Come to find out she is still doing Coricidin which is a cold medicine that doesn't raise blood pressure. Apparently when if you take a box or two at a time you get a high off of it. Her legs are cut from knee to hip...just shredded. And to top it all off, she is hearing voices in her head telling her to kill herself and that things won't be better until she is dead. She was released to go home so I went to visit her today...she looked like hell. She informed me it's the first day in 2 weeks that she has been completely sober. She was telling me about her night and everything. Told me how she posted her drama on facebook. I care for her and don't want anything to happen but she needs help. I have to look out for the best interest of my family and unless she seeks and continues help I can no longer have her in my life. I know that sounds harsh but I can't have a drug and alcohol abuser in my life and around my kids. Also, her and her boyfriend broke up 3 years ago and she said that is the main reason why she is so depressed because she is lonely. It's been 3 years she needs to pick up what self respect she has left and move forward, because he isn't coming back.
Then tonight I was making cupcakes for my son's birthday party tomorrow and our house phone rings. It was a guy my dad works with calling to let him know my brother was trashed at a boy 20 minutes away. On his motorcycle. So my dad and my sister get in the car to go get his ass. Half hour later my sister comes storming through the front door crying. Turns out that my brother told her he was going to blow his fucking head off with his gun. Which brings me to the next point...he owns a gun, in fact he owns 4 guns. I don't like that whatsoever, I have a 4 year old and we don't have a safe or gun case. It's not okay and it just so happens that everyone in the house knew about it except for me. So here he is stupid fucking drunk and talking about blowing his head off, just yelling. Nearly getting in a fist fight with my dad on our front lawn, my mom yelling at them to stop. Our family looked real classy tonight. Then entire time I was just thanking the Lord that my boys were at their dad's house this night. It is not okay for my brother to be coming home talking about killing himself and raising hell when I have a 4 and 1 year old. I bend over backwards every fucking day to make sure my boys are in a good environment and get everything they need....and this is not the type of household they will grow up in. So either my brother needs to grow the fuck up and act his age or I will be finding a way out of my house, even if I don't have a penny to my name day after day.
I'm just so tired of all the bullshit.
godfather:
Your devotion to your family and the way you work so hard for your boys and you is profoundly inspiring