True love is letting go.
By letting go I mean that people cannot self-actualize (see Maslow: hierarchy of needs) if they are under control or being constrained by relationship based conventions.
This is true of all relationships. It is hard for parents to let go with children...even if the child is actually an adult and some never do. Maybe they project the dangerous or "stupid" stuff they did when they were young on their children. This is a double wammy: 1. it's probably not so and 2. it tends to cause the criticism to be quite personal and often insulting. It would be far more productive to project the positive stuff and take the other as it comes working together to solve problems. Many can't do this and find a life time of strife and wierd holidays.
It is hard to let go of your significant other. Without trust it cannot be done. Without honesty it cannot be done. And I will admitt here that I've only done it once and in the end it was me who didn't handle it and failed. So significant others should take this as an ideal not an experience.
It is probably easiest with friends. This is also the easiest way to spot a true friend. They celebrate your successes and offer what support they can when you fail. It is especially telling if you succeed beyond them...then you really know how great a friend they are. It is even more telling if they succeed beyond you...then you really know how great a friend you are.
In an ideal world we'd be great parents picking up the pieces when the shit hits the fan and encouraging our children to strike out and embrace life with enthusiasm.
In an ideal world we be great s/o's picking up the pieces...well you get it.
By letting go I mean that people cannot self-actualize (see Maslow: hierarchy of needs) if they are under control or being constrained by relationship based conventions.
This is true of all relationships. It is hard for parents to let go with children...even if the child is actually an adult and some never do. Maybe they project the dangerous or "stupid" stuff they did when they were young on their children. This is a double wammy: 1. it's probably not so and 2. it tends to cause the criticism to be quite personal and often insulting. It would be far more productive to project the positive stuff and take the other as it comes working together to solve problems. Many can't do this and find a life time of strife and wierd holidays.
It is hard to let go of your significant other. Without trust it cannot be done. Without honesty it cannot be done. And I will admitt here that I've only done it once and in the end it was me who didn't handle it and failed. So significant others should take this as an ideal not an experience.
It is probably easiest with friends. This is also the easiest way to spot a true friend. They celebrate your successes and offer what support they can when you fail. It is especially telling if you succeed beyond them...then you really know how great a friend they are. It is even more telling if they succeed beyond you...then you really know how great a friend you are.
In an ideal world we'd be great parents picking up the pieces when the shit hits the fan and encouraging our children to strike out and embrace life with enthusiasm.
In an ideal world we be great s/o's picking up the pieces...well you get it.