nolan_void

I've discovered a lot of things over the past couple of days. I found God in that incalculable moment when your breath changes from out to in, the space between the beats of your heart, the silence, the stillness. I've also realized what a profound impact the weather has on my mood. It is warm and sunny today, and it almost feels like nothing else matters. The winter is always a very opressive season for me. I suppose it is better when you have somewhere warm to stay and someone you love to share it with. For me though, there is nothing greater than being able to go outside without a coat or jacket that I have to pull close. There is nothing better than the sun shining down and actually making a difference in how warm I feel as opposed to the grey, apathetic rays that come through the overcast winter sky.

I can see the dawn of summer, the foreshadowing of a blazing glory of the sun at the zenith of its power, and it has reinstilled the faith of the phoenix in me. I'm not foolish enough to think that this good mood is everlasting though. In some ways it is irrelevant that I will inevitably plummet, but the ability to enjoy my good feelings despite their mortality has always been one of my strengths. My downfall is not being able to see the good and the hope when things are at their worst.

Today my gaze is penetrating, my understanding profound, my mien sagacious. Today every woman seems beautiful, and it is as if I could never come up with any words to do justice to just how much so. I see Sarasvati in them all.